You are definitely wrong, OP. As long as you are being paid for hours worked, it really doesn't matter what your MB is doing. Frankly, your job sounds pretty easy. That said, PP is right in that you should have a contract that spells out your duties and responsibilities.

Oh and don't get involved with your MB's divorce or contact her ex. That's just bad advice.

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with you OP!! I just posted almost the same thread yesterday about getting to work super early while Mom and baby sleep in!! Just bc she is paying you she thinks she can take FULL advantage of your time... I, like you, would rather leave early rather than sit and watch her kids while she's home.. I a mother myself and would never have someone at my house to watch my child while I was there. From the moment I walk in my house it is play time with my daughter. Good luck with this situation, I def. know how you feel and that is why I'm giving my notice in 2 weeks!

OP situation is totally different from PP situation. PP - you are literally sitting there doing nothing while the baby and mom sleep. Not the same thing as if you were taking care of the baby while mom still slept.

OP - I'm an MB and I think it's really sad that your MB sits with a glass of wine while you take care of her kids, however, I also think you are completely wrong for complaining about it. If you feel sorry for the children or you feel they are being neglected it's fine if you want to ask advice about what to do but you are getting paid fairly so MB can do whatever she wants while she is paying you.

And before everyone jumps on the MB for "neglecting" her children, you have no idea what she is going through with her divorce and now she is suddenly a single parent. I love my children more than anything in this world and wouldn't change my life for anything but having children is exhausting and I'm not a single parent. I'm tired when I come home from work but I am "on" the second I walk through the door. I let the nanny leave as soon as I get home but I can't even change my clothes until my husband gets home. At least if I need to take a shower or pay bills or make a phone call in the evening he is there to watch them. I can't imagine doing it as a single parent. So maybe she needs that time to decompress when she gets home, maybe she feels like she has time on the weekends to be with the children when she isn't exhausted and can give them full attention. I'm not making excuses for her, just trying to see all possibilities. In any case, in regards to OP it doesn't really matter. You're getting paid fairly to do a job. Do it and don't complain or find another job but no job is going to be perfect and employers won't look kindly on you if you have had multiple jobs that you left.

Totally agree with you OP!! I just posted almost the same thread yesterday about getting to work super early while Mom and baby sleep in!! Just bc she is paying you she thinks she can take FULL advantage of your time... I, like you, would rather leave early rather than sit and watch her kids while she's home.. I a mother myself and would never have someone at my house to watch my child while I was there. From the moment I walk in my house it is play time with my daughter. Good luck with this situation, I def. know how you feel and that is why I'm giving my notice in 2 weeks!

This is just a bad match for you.

Give your notice and find another family to work for OP.

run!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong. She hired you to work form 7 to 7 and that is what you're doing. There is nothing wrong with fact that she comes home early or takes a day off sometimes and still wants you to handle the kids. Maybe she is ill. Maybe she has other personal business to attend to, such as divorce-related issues. Maybe she just needs some alone time at the end of the day. Unless she is hovering over you interfering with the way you do the job, it really isn't for you to judge how she spends her time.

It's odd and sad that the mother does not want to put her kids to bed when she is home, but how often does that really happen? If it is a regular occurrence, my guess would be that she is either depressed or alcoholic or both. In that case, you might try mentioning to her that the kids seem to to be struggling and they might be missing time with her at the end of the day. Say you know she is busy and stressed and would it help if you were to work (and get paid for) an extra half hour every day so she can have some alone time before putting the kids to bed herself. Depending on her response, you could also try letting the soon-to-be-ex know that she seems disconnected from the kids and that you are concerned for them. But if it comes to that, be prepared to look for a new job, because if he confronts her or uses what you say to help him win custody, she'll hate you.

This is bad advice. You can say the kids are struggling if they are, but don't be MB's therapist or contact her soon to be ex.

Feeling out the situation a bit and offering a possible solution is a far cry from being the MB's therapist. I agree that contacting the ex would be a last resort, only to be done if you sincerely think there may be some neglect going on and you are planning to leave the job anyway. Don't you feel a sense of duty to the kids? Keep in mind that in some states, nannies can be held liable for failure to report suspected child abuse or neglect. https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.pdf

No OP, don't contact anyones soon-to-be-ex. In fact, ignore the above advice completely.

Is she paying you OT for 20 hrs every week? Probably not.
Honestly, I wouldn't hire a nanny who didn't have enough sense to know her rights under Federal labor laws. Are you legal? If not, you have no recourse. Lesson no. 1: KNOW YOUR RIGHTS. ALWAYS HAVE A WORK AGREEMENT SPELLING OUT IN DETAIL YOUR HOURS, HOURLY PAY AND OT PAY.

Yes, if she is paying you to be there, she can sit and drink wine or even go to the bathroom and "pleasure hetself."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong. She hired you to work form 7 to 7 and that is what you're doing. There is nothing wrong with fact that she comes home early or takes a day off sometimes and still wants you to handle the kids. Maybe she is ill. Maybe she has other personal business to attend to, such as divorce-related issues. Maybe she just needs some alone time at the end of the day. Unless she is hovering over you interfering with the way you do the job, it really isn't for you to judge how she spends her time.

It's odd and sad that the mother does not want to put her kids to bed when she is home, but how often does that really happen? If it is a regular occurrence, my guess would be that she is either depressed or alcoholic or both. In that case, you might try mentioning to her that the kids seem to to be struggling and they might be missing time with her at the end of the day. Say you know she is busy and stressed and would it help if you were to work (and get paid for) an extra half hour every day so she can have some alone time before putting the kids to bed herself. Depending on her response, you could also try letting the soon-to-be-ex know that she seems disconnected from the kids and that you are concerned for them. But if it comes to that, be prepared to look for a new job, because if he confronts her or uses what you say to help him win custody, she'll hate you.

This is bad advice. You can say the kids are struggling if they are, but don't be MB's therapist or contact her soon to be ex.

Feeling out the situation a bit and offering a possible solution is a far cry from being the MB's therapist. I agree that contacting the ex would be a last resort, only to be done if you sincerely think there may be some neglect going on and you are planning to leave the job anyway. Don't you feel a sense of duty to the kids? Keep in mind that in some states, nannies can be held liable for failure to report suspected child abuse or neglect. https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.pdf

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong. She hired you to work form 7 to 7 and that is what you're doing. There is nothing wrong with fact that she comes home early or takes a day off sometimes and still wants you to handle the kids. Maybe she is ill. Maybe she has other personal business to attend to, such as divorce-related issues. Maybe she just needs some alone time at the end of the day. Unless she is hovering over you interfering with the way you do the job, it really isn't for you to judge how she spends her time.

It's odd and sad that the mother does not want to put her kids to bed when she is home, but how often does that really happen? If it is a regular occurrence, my guess would be that she is either depressed or alcoholic or both. In that case, you might try mentioning to her that the kids seem to to be struggling and they might be missing time with her at the end of the day. Say you know she is busy and stressed and would it help if you were to work (and get paid for) an extra half hour every day so she can have some alone time before putting the kids to bed herself. Depending on her response, you could also try letting the soon-to-be-ex know that she seems disconnected from the kids and that you are concerned for them. But if it comes to that, be prepared to look for a new job, because if he confronts her or uses what you say to help him win custody, she'll hate you.

This is bad advice. You can say the kids are struggling if they are, but don't be MB's therapist or contact her soon to be ex.

Yes you are wrong, you're getting paid to do a job regardless if the mom is home or not. look at it this way if you were working at a department store there are three other employees and no customers do you whine that you're still there getting paid?

Yes, you are wrong. She hired you to work form 7 to 7 and that is what you're doing. There is nothing wrong with fact that she comes home early or takes a day off sometimes and still wants you to handle the kids. Maybe she is ill. Maybe she has other personal business to attend to, such as divorce-related issues. Maybe she just needs some alone time at the end of the day. Unless she is hovering over you interfering with the way you do the job, it really isn't for you to judge how she spends her time.

It's odd and sad that the mother does not want to put her kids to bed when she is home, but how often does that really happen? If it is a regular occurrence, my guess would be that she is either depressed or alcoholic or both. In that case, you might try mentioning to her that the kids seem to to be struggling and they might be missing time with her at the end of the day. Say you know she is busy and stressed and would it help if you were to work (and get paid for) an extra half hour every day so she can have some alone time before putting the kids to bed herself. Depending on her response, you could also try letting the soon-to-be-ex know that she seems disconnected from the kids and that you are concerned for them. But if it comes to that, be prepared to look for a new job, because if he confronts her or uses what you say to help him win custody, she'll hate you.

Yes, you're wrong. I hired my nanny to take care of my kids when I don't want to. It's not for the nanny to decide when I should be caring for them; that's my decision to make.

This is a horrible situation for you to be in.

very unusual if she is actually sitting on the couch w/ wine while you put the kids to bed. Is that really what she's doing though? i would imagine there may be lots of paperwork and lawyer discussions for someone going thru divorce - is she on the phone/computer during that period?

Still, i would think she could do if after bedtime but I haven't been thru a divorce and can't imagine the stress. As for you though - she's hired you for 7 to 7 and is paying you accordingly it sounds like. While I can understand that it's weird to have her home it is not inappropriate. There is no "should" here in the employer sense (only perhaps a "should" in a good mommy sense). If you do not like this position you could leave, but she's not doing something inherently inappropriate work-wise by having you stay.

I've been a nanny for a month, two boys 7 and 4. My hours are 7-7 mon-fri. No set contract, never signed anything. Parents are going through a divorce. From 7:00-8:30 i get the kids ready for school and have breakfast. 8:30-2:00 i have free time, but cant commit to anything. 2:00-4:00 i have just the 4 year old and from 4:00-7:00 i have both. The mother wants the kids bathed and in their pajamas by 6:30 every night. I was under the impression that the mother would be home from work between 6:30-7:00 which is fine. In the month that I've been here, she's maybe come home twice between 6:30-7:00. The rest of the time she has been home early.

My problem is I don't feel that I should still be there once she gets home. One day she came home at 5 and I had to stay till 6:00. She has a late night once a week which is Thursday. She takes off from work and yet I'm there all day. I don't understand why I should be putting her kids to bed while she's sitting on the couch with a glass of wine. Let me go home early and dock my pay. Am I wrong? On top of that, the kids are out of control!