Anonymous wrote:

It's no secret that after a hard day's work at the office, both parents prefer to arrive home and "enjoy" their child.

Hence, "nanny as parent",
parent behaves as a grandparent,
without much interest in (or energy for),
unpleasant parenting responsibilities.

The next question is:
Are parents who outsource
the FT direct "hands on" tasks
of primary caregiver
to an unknown stranger,
inherently disfunctional?

If you hate nannies so much, and the families that employ them, why do you bother posting on these boards?

Huh?

Because they are lazy and their children are only accessories.

It's no secret that after a hard day's work at the office, both parents prefer to arrive home and "enjoy" their child.

Hence, "nanny as parent",
parent behaves as a grandparent,
without much interest in (or energy for),
unpleasant parenting responsibilities.

The next question is:
Are parents who outsource
the FT direct "hands on" tasks
of primary caregiver
to an unknown stranger,
inherently disfunctional?

If you hate nannies so much, and the families that employ them, why do you bother posting on these boards?

Anonymous wrote:Been in the same boat. I find myself leaving those jobs just because my hard work seems wasted. I like working with more responsible parents, who pick up, where I left off.

Yes - this.

I'm an MB. My husband and I do all the work of caregiving (and everything it entails - laundry, cleaning, bathing, discipline) when we're home, and we set the guidelines for how those things are done when we're not there - whether the person providing the care is our nanny, or grandparents, or another sitter. If my nanny didn't do basically what I expected during the day, and leave the house in decent shape at the end of the day, she wouldn't be our nanny. If she arrived to a filthy house where she was expected to clean up after us, or she had to deal w/ kids who are not taught manners or disciplined, then I'd expect her to decide whether or not she wanted to stay in the job. (And I actually just wouldn't treat her that way or expect her to stick around if I did, but clearly some people do.)

Parents will be who they're going to be. Some people shouldn't be parents, and/or just do a rotten job w/ some aspects (be it cleaning or discipline or whatever). All people have different standards. There has to be a "fit" between nanny and employers for the relationship to work. If the fit isn't there it doesn't work well and someone is unhappy. If your bosses are pigs, take you for granted, don't manage their kids in a way you respect, etc... then you have to decide whether or not you can talk with them and work it out, or you need a better match.

21:55 here.
My question is applicable to young children. It may be that that the more daytime hours are outsourced, the more harmful it can be, unless the care is high quality, and longterm. The younger the child, the greater the potential damage. Infants and young children require stable care. Broken bonds often create serious difficulties down the road.
Unfortunately, we've heard from MBs here, who will insist that it makes no difference how many primary caregivers a young child has.

It's no secret that after a hard day's work at the office, both parents prefer to arrive home and "enjoy" their child.

Hence, "nanny as parent",
parent behaves as a grandparent,
without much interest in (or energy for),
unpleasant parenting responsibilities.

The next question is:
Are parents who outsource
the FT direct "hands on" tasks
of primary caregiver
to an unknown stranger,
inherently disfunctional?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say "go pick up your room" and they say "no" and "nanny will do it for me." So I shrug and go back to my cocktail and iPad. we spend so little time together - why should it be spent fighting?

Actually sounds like what parents would say except the kid wouldn't say 'nanny will do it for me" the parents think to themselves "nanny will do it for me."

lol This..

Anonymous wrote:I say "go pick up your room" and they say "no" and "nanny will do it for me." So I shrug and go back to my cocktail and iPad. we spend so little time together - why should it be spent fighting?

Actually sounds like what parents would say except the kid wouldn't say 'nanny will do it for me" the parents think to themselves "nanny will do it for me."

Anonymous wrote:I say "go pick up your room" and they say "no" and "nanny will do it for me." So I shrug and go back to my cocktail and iPad. we spend so little time together - why should it be spent fighting?

Pleasebeatrollpleasebeatrollpleasebeatroll

I say "go pick up your room" and they say "no" and "nanny will do it for me." So I shrug and go back to my cocktail and iPad. we spend so little time together - why should it be spent fighting?

Been in the same boat. I find myself leaving those jobs just because my hard work seems wasted. I like working with more responsible parents, who pick up, where I left off.

Anyone else have this issue? Parents want you to teach their children how to do chores and take responsibility for their things, then when the parents have the kids they don't do it. I struggle and go through the battles and get them on a good routine, then when I am gone everything gets piled up. Do they not understand how easy it is to say go pick up your room? Why do they have you teach and enforce chores if they won't follow through when you have done all the ground work, don't they know that when I am done with the job the kids will not continue to do them and they will be starting from scratch.

I am probably just grumpy given that it is Monday!