One more point. APs who are I their 20s and don't know anything about this area may agree to match with you becsuse,they don't know any better. Maybe some PPs have had luck and their AP doesn't truly care. But that is a minority. I can tell you from current personal experience that once APs get here and understand the disparity they will be pretty unhappy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. the families acting like this is a non issue are fooling themselves. Your APs are bemoaning this fact behind your backs. Not everything is metro accessible or easily metro accessible. A 45 minute bus or train ride when it would have taken 15-20 minutes to drive is not "fun" or an "experience" beyond the first time. It's also not cool constantly being that girl bumming rides because your family isn't providing one of the most basic things an AP expects. If you don't have a car I get it, but if you do have a car but are just too self involved to let her use it do not fool yourself into thinking she doesn't notice or care.

I'm the OP. We don't own a car. We take the bus, bike, Metro or a cab or ZipCar everywhere and we do just fine. Yes, things take a little longer to get to, but you build that into your trip, bring your phone to occupy yourself, and it's fine. We are very upfront about this when we match and have found many candidates that don't like to drive or that have similar desire to not drive and willingness to deal with some irritation due to cost and environmental concerns. It's why we were considering offering an extra $50 a month for personal transportation - so they can use the typical bus and Metro but also so they can ocassionally cab it just like we do.

I disagree that you need a car for a good life. The inability to consider spending an additional 20 minutes getting to Target to buy $100 worth of useless plastic is a major problem in this country.

Why did you pose the question if you were only interested in hearing from people who agree with you? I said that I think its more of an issue than the PPs make it out to be and yes is does make you a less attractive host family, but no its not the worst thing in the world. I'd much rather have to take public transport everywhere than share a floor/bathroom with the children. If you have both of these crappy things to factor in, then yeah....

The question I posed was "does anyone else not have a car and have an au pair?" and "how is it working?" and "did you have trouble finding a match?". I also asked for "thoughts on the arrangement" or offering an additional amount toward transportation costs. I did not ask "do you think this makes us less attractive?" or "what do you think of host families who don't offer a car?" So actually, yes, I was to a degree asking a question of people that agree with me.

By nature of my "did you have trouble finding a match?" question, I acknowledge that it makes us less attractive. Incidentally, we also all share a bathroom and the rooms are all on the same floor, and we've never had trouble finding a match. In fact, we tend to have the opposite problem of too many to choose from and having to turn candidates down. I absolutely acknowledge that these things make us a less attractive host family to au pairs that value a car and total private space over everything else. Those au pairs that are willing to put up with some inconveniences for a family-oriented, fair, welcoming, fun host family are happy to choose us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. the families acting like this is a non issue are fooling themselves. Your APs are bemoaning this fact behind your backs. Not everything is metro accessible or easily metro accessible. A 45 minute bus or train ride when it would have taken 15-20 minutes to drive is not "fun" or an "experience" beyond the first time. It's also not cool constantly being that girl bumming rides because your family isn't providing one of the most basic things an AP expects. If you don't have a car I get it, but if you do have a car but are just too self involved to let her use it do not fool yourself into thinking she doesn't notice or care.

I'm the OP. We don't own a car. We take the bus, bike, Metro or a cab or ZipCar everywhere and we do just fine. Yes, things take a little longer to get to, but you build that into your trip, bring your phone to occupy yourself, and it's fine. We are very upfront about this when we match and have found many candidates that don't like to drive or that have similar desire to not drive and willingness to deal with some irritation due to cost and environmental concerns. It's why we were considering offering an extra $50 a month for personal transportation - so they can use the typical bus and Metro but also so they can ocassionally cab it just like we do.

I disagree that you need a car for a good life. The inability to consider spending an additional 20 minutes getting to Target to buy $100 worth of useless plastic is a major problem in this country.

Why did you pose the question if you were only interested in hearing from people who agree with you? I said that I think its more of an issue than the PPs make it out to be and yes is does make you a less attractive host family, but no its not the worst thing in the world. I'd much rather have to take public transport everywhere than share a floor/bathroom with the children. If you have both of these crappy things to factor in, then yeah....

Not having a car to provide the AP would be a problem if you didn't have public transportation close by.

As long as she can go out on her own and not be stuck, you'll be fine.

Some APs also dont have a driver's license, I'd check into their profiles as it might be a great fit.

Anonymous wrote:Your APs are bemoaning this fact behind your backs.

Then they shouldn't have matched with us knowing they wouldn't have a car. If they came here and found that they really couldn't deal without a car, then they should say something so we can help. If they can't deal with it, they're free to rematch.

Anonymous wrote:
Not everything is metro accessible or easily metro accessible.

In the areas where host families consider not having a car, everything is Metro accessible, bus accessible, bike accessible, walking accessible, or cab accessible. Just because you feel like you're too good for the bus doesn't mean it won't go where you want it to go. We live in Silver Spring and there is a bus to *everywhere*. Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:
A 45 minute bus or train ride when it would have taken 15-20 minutes to drive is not "fun" or an "experience" beyond the first time.

Travel doesn't have to be fun or an experience. Travel is to get some place. If you've matched with a family that doesn't offer a car, then you're agreeing to add an extra 25-30 minutes to some of your trips. Take the time to read a book or catch up on Facebook or just sit there for 25 minutes. Not that difficult.

Anonymous wrote:
It's also not cool constantly being that girl bumming rides because your family isn't providing one of the most basic things an AP expects.

I haven't found that it's "one of the most basic things an AP expects." But there are going to be pros and cons to every family and the point is to be upfront to get a good match. So maybe your AP ends up driving all the time, but my house is the one they're all gathered at watching movies until 2am. Or maybe you have a car that your AP uses exclusively and my AP offers her gas money. Some APs have iPhones, others don't; some APs have separate living spaces, some don't; some APs have a curfew, some don't; etc etc. There are good things and bad things about every host family. APs need to look at the packaged deal.

Anonymous wrote:
ifyou do have a car but are just too self involved to let her use it do not fool yourself into thinking she doesn't notice or care.

No one said we don't think our APs notice or care. See above re: matching. And don't make it sound like it's simple "self-involvement" that goes into the decision to offer a car. For one, it's extremely expensive, particularly if you have a car for your AP's exclusive use. Even if you're sharing a car, it's expensive - license fees, car insurance, gas, wear and tear, deductibles when they have an accident.

If you're sharing, there's figuring out when your AP can use it and when you're without a car, there's worrying about whether she's a safe driver with the kids, there's the whole getting your license business in the beginning which took us three trips to the MVA. Both of ours have had one minor accident during the year, so there's dealing with that - getting the car fixed, handling the insurance, taking her out to do more practice driving to make sure she's safe enough, etc. It's a big pain even if you're just sharing a car. Some host families may decide that it's too expensive or too much of a pain in the ass to deal with, so they make sure to match with APs who can't drive or who don't want to.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP. the families acting like this is a non issue are fooling themselves. Your APs are bemoaning this fact behind your backs. Not everything is metro accessible or easily metro accessible. A 45 minute bus or train ride when it would have taken 15-20 minutes to drive is not "fun" or an "experience" beyond the first time. It's also not cool constantly being that girl bumming rides because your family isn't providing one of the most basic things an AP expects. If you don't have a car I get it, but if you do have a car but are just too self involved to let her use it do not fool yourself into thinking she doesn't notice or care.

I'm the OP. We don't own a car. We take the bus, bike, Metro or a cab or ZipCar everywhere and we do just fine. Yes, things take a little longer to get to, but you build that into your trip, bring your phone to occupy yourself, and it's fine. We are very upfront about this when we match and have found many candidates that don't like to drive or that have similar desire to not drive and willingness to deal with some irritation due to cost and environmental concerns. It's why we were considering offering an extra $50 a month for personal transportation - so they can use the typical bus and Metro but also so they can ocassionally cab it just like we do.

I disagree that you need a car for a good life. The inability to consider spending an additional 20 minutes getting to Target to buy $100 worth of useless plastic is a major problem in this country.

Agree with PP. the families acting like this is a non issue are fooling themselves. Your APs are bemoaning this fact behind your backs. Not everything is metro accessible or easily metro accessible. A 45 minute bus or train ride when it would have taken 15-20 minutes to drive is not "fun" or an "experience" beyond the first time. It's also not cool constantly being that girl bumming rides because your family isn't providing one of the most basic things an AP expects. If you don't have a car I get it, but if you do have a car but are just too self involved to let her use it do not fool yourself into thinking she doesn't notice or care.

Anonymous wrote:The beauty of this area is that depending on exactly where you live, you do not NEED a car at all! I agree that it might actually be a pro and not a con..... For someone young who wants to explore a city being close to the metro is amazing! In what other area could an Au Pair hop on the Metro and be at the nations capital in just minutes? *ok or maybe hours depending on track work...

Do you actually have an AP?? They like to visit their friends, go shopping and tour areas outside of DC.

Just keep kidding yourself. It is an issue if you don't provide a car unless of course you are counting on the families who do to fill the gap. Not everything is on metro. Good luck.

If you do not need one to get around I think it's fine. Especially in this area, some APs may not want to drive.

FWIW, we have not had our APs drive our children or themselves for the past 3 1/2 years. We live very close to public transportation and it has not been a problem. We are very up front about this in the interview process.

APs are responsible for gas even if you do provide a car, so beyong getting to their AP meetings and school, we have provided a metro card at the beginning with $20 on it.

The beauty of this area is that depending on exactly where you live, you do not NEED a car at all! I agree that it might actually be a pro and not a con..... For someone young who wants to explore a city being close to the metro is amazing! In what other area could an Au Pair hop on the Metro and be at the nations capital in just minutes? *ok or maybe hours depending on track work...

I'm on my second AP, so three years in. I have never offered a car, but my children are young and you can walk to everything we need (library, shopping, rec center for county classes) and are about 45 mins to downtown on public transportation. My DCs start part-time preschool this fall, so I am allowing the AP access to my car so she can take night courses and learn the area. If the stars align, I will get her a car this summer so she can help with drop off and pick ups.

Anonymous wrote:We live right by a Metro station and therefore do not have a car. We take the Metro, bus, or walk everywhere and have a downtown area within a 10-minute walk. Anyone else not have a car and have an au pair? How is it working? Did you have trouble finding a match? We are considering offering an additional amount per month ($50?) toward personal transportation costs. Thoughts on this arrangement?

We have a car, but do not offer it to our au pairs. We also live right in the city, and near a metro station. The fact that we do not require our AP to drive our kids around actually expands the AP pool quite a bit, since not all AP candidates can drive, or want to drive.

Of course you can offer any extra "perks" that you like, but I don't think you need to offer this money toward personal transportation costs in order to attract a good match. Many families that offer personal car use to their AP require the AP to pay for personal gas use, insurance deductibles if she causes an accident, etc. I think $50 toward metro costs is certainly a nice gesture, though we don't do it. (We give a metro card and refill it for AP to use when she takes the kids places, when she goes to her classes, and when she goes to cluster meetings. We usually put a "starter chunk" of money on a separate personal metro card for the AP's personal use as part of a welcome gift.)

I used to be an au pair in Bethesda, about a 7 min walk from the metro. I never had a problem with not driving. I gave the other Au pairs gas money or bought them coffee or something when I drove with them somewhere.
It also did not matter to me when I was choosing a family. My family was great, the car issue was not one that mattered.

We live right by a Metro station and therefore do not have a car. We take the Metro, bus, or walk everywhere and have a downtown area within a 10-minute walk. Anyone else not have a car and have an au pair? How is it working? Did you have trouble finding a match? We are considering offering an additional amount per month ($50?) toward personal transportation costs. Thoughts on this arrangement?