Anonymous wrote:He is Jehovah Witness so no participating AT ALL. Birthdays, christmas, halloween, whatever.

Ok I was about to post that it would be no big deal if he chose not to participate, but I think I would have a problem with a JW. I could understand not going to services, or spending the holiday doing something else if they have the day off, but I think not participating AT ALL in all holidays would be a deal breaker for me. For birthday celebrations I schedule hours for my AP because I really need that extra set of hands. I think I have given the AP all the holidays off, but have invited them to participate with my family and they all have. For me (and I hope my AP) the holidays and birthdays are a great time to spend time together and usually with my extended family. I think they get to experience American culture (at least from the perspective of our religion) that way and get to know our family.

If my children were older, perhaps I would have a different perspective.

He is Jehovah Witness so no participating AT ALL. Birthdays, christmas, halloween, whatever.

Are you very clear with him on what "participation" means? Maybe he thinks you will want him to attend mass each week, refrain from meat on Fridays, say the rosary as a family, etc.

Since you say you are a "lax" Catholic--are your Christmases more about Santa and a big family dinner? Or would you expect the Au Pair to attend church with you?

During the Lenten season, do you expect your AP to fast on the appropriate days, make a sacrifice ("give something up"), etc?

If he doesn't want to participate in your religion, then I would find someone else. If he says, I've never celebrated Christmas but I know its a big deal in America and I can't wait to see all the things you do and can always celebrate my own holidays with my other au pair friends, then it sounds like its fine.

If you are catholic, but a lax one and you celebrate the holidays and you are talking to an AP that isn't your religion and is unsure if he wants to participates in your celebrations...but is a pretty good fit otherwise...

Do you let them go?

Non issue?

I am someone who does big holiday (particularly Christmas)...not sure how I feel.