When I get into work, DB stays for at least an hour. Of course I don't mind. Its his house. He can do what he pleases.

I think you should just have her come in at nine at all times and use the extra time before you have to leave to get ready.

OP here- I was right, we spoke this morning and my nanny believed the later arrival was in fact a change in her hours and she was upset that I was increasing her work and not paying her more. I reminded her that our agreement was always 9-6 even though she usually worked 9:30-5:30. I also explained that I would be fine with 9 only the two days a week I actually needed it IF she could remember which days those were and not be late on the 9:30 days-- so I agreed to the different arrival times-- we will see if it works. I do always feel though, that when I give a little, I get pushed into more.....

Anonymous wrote:The most successful people have a routine. Nanny should arrive the same time everyday and you should leave. This is how to create a "safe" and secure environment for your child.

Nonsense. My MB and I are often home at the same time together for 20-30 minutes in the morning. DB is often home early and I stay and chat for a bit. Their son is perfectly content and never gets distressed at goodbyes for any of us, he feels perfectly safe and secure.

OP, she's just gotten complacent. We can all understand the feeling of a job getting easier - but paying the same - and getting to enjoy that luxury for a while, and when things get harder again it's a readjustment. She might be annoyed, sure, but it would be unreasonable of her and hopefully she knows that. What you are asking for is completely reasonable and you should not worry at all about whether you are going to overlap with her for 30 minutes some mornings - she can handle that.

Anonymous wrote:If her work hours are 9-6 and she is being paid for those hours, then she should be there during those hours. It doesn't matter whether you are at work, taking a shower, playing with the kids, whatever. You employ her for specific hours and she should expect to be at your house and working during those hours.

I would just tell her that the schedule you originally agreed upon and for which she has been paid all this time is 9-6, and now you would like her to stick to that schedule. If you have her come at 9 and you don't leave until 11, I don't see what she has to be "annoyed" about since you are paying her for that time.

+1111111

OP, I highly doubt she keeps forgetting, she probably assumes it's no big deal since you're home anyways. If I were you I'd have a quick meeting with her to discuss this. I'd tell her that if she can't 'remember' then you will keep it at 9AM every morning. That should get her to 'remember' but you gotta speak up with a warning.

OP- thanks for the comments and advice. I think that she may have just gotten used to coming in at 9:30 and is feeling now that something is being taken away-- and so I need to sit down with her and remind her that it was always supposed to be a 9am start time and now we are going back to that.

OP, I used to be in this situation (I am a nanny). My work hours were 8-6. The MB usually wouldn't leave until around 9:30 though, and come home around 5-- but would keep me there until the very last minute.
I would be 'annoyed' that the MB was there for that 1.5 hours- I felt like I couldn't relax and it was often disruptive to our environment because the toddler would see her Mom every 15 minutes (getting ready for work, in/out of shower, making lunch, etc) and throw a tantrum the whole time. It was extremely frustrating and I'd often wonder why she didn't just get ready before I got there (the toddler was really good with independent play and the master bedroom/bathroom had many toys for her to play with while MB couldve been getting ready). It almost seemed like WAY more work and a waste of $$ to have me be there then. Additionally, in the evenings, MB would arrive home a lot earlier then she would let me leave- and do the same thing- change, make food, etc- all in the vicinity of the toddler's playroom (where we usually were) and it made things just kind of awkward and uncomfortable- screaming for Mommy, acting different around her, etc.

Anyways.... I used to be one of those immature/entitled/bratty nannies-- So I would complain to my friends about it and let myself be annoyed and worked up about it ("Why won't she just let me LEAVE or come in LATE??... WTF...). But, now, looking back, why didn't I just do something about it? Take my charge to the park during that time, make sure we were in a different room, do bathtime then... etc etc. Or, discuss the inconvenience with my MB. Or, see if I could shift my hours a little bit. Or, quit. Instead I would just bitch about it and stew.

Anyways.................. Long story short, you, as an MB, decide what you absolutely need from your Nanny. Outline it for her, and she can choose whether or not she wants to accept your terms. If she does, great. If not, she can ask you to tweak a couple things or she can quit.
Either way, make a plan and stick to it.

I don't understand how a grown adult can't keep track of her own hours/schedule. With all the apps out there (or even just jotting it down on a piece of paper) there's really no excuse to be late or mix up your schedule on a daily basis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The most successful people have a routine. Nanny should arrive the same time everyday and you should leave. This is how to create a "safe" and secure environment for your child.

Or not. A parent can dictate whatever time he/she chooses and can stay in his/her home for an hour without having to stress out about the nanny feeling paranoid.

OP, it's reasonable for your nanny to come in at the time you ask her. My hours vary at times and I use my reminder on my phone to tell me the timings. It's really not that hard to remember.

GL.

Anonymous wrote:The most successful people have a routine. Nanny should arrive the same time everyday and you should leave. This is how to create a "safe" and secure environment for your child.

Or not. A parent can dictate whatever time he/she chooses and can stay in his/her home for an hour without having to stress out about the nanny feeling paranoid.

OP, it's reasonable for your nanny to come in at the time you ask her. My hours vary at times and I use my reminder on my phone to tell me the timings. It's really not that hard to remember.

The most successful people have a routine. Nanny should arrive the same time everyday and you should leave. This is how to create a "safe" and secure environment for your child.

I think if it were going to bother her, then she blew it by not keeping better track of which days were early days. You tried it that way, and it didn't work. She might appreciate the slower morning every now and then while you're home just as much as coming in a few minutes late, anyway, and she won't have to worry about keeping up with a schedule change every day.

This would depend entirely on my relationship with MB. I've had some MBs where we really clicked and when they came home before we knew it we'd been talking almost half an hour. With others the personal click wasn't there and I'd give a quick update and dash out the door. Had nothing to do with how much I loved the kids, or even the job in general, some people just click better than others.

It is a completely reasonable request though. And if you do find it's getting awkward with both of you around, you could spend more time hanging with the kids before the nanny comes, and then use the time after the nanny comes to shower, get dressed, eat, etc. in peace while nanny cares for the kids.

I would prefer having a set time each day regardless if you stayed a little long or not. I think it would be confusing if the times kept switching. Don't feel bad for staying and playing with YOUR children - if she's a good nanny she'll understand.

If her work hours are 9-6 and she is being paid for those hours, then she should be there during those hours. It doesn't matter whether you are at work, taking a shower, playing with the kids, whatever. You employ her for specific hours and she should expect to be at your house and working during those hours.

I would just tell her that the schedule you originally agreed upon and for which she has been paid all this time is 9-6, and now you would like her to stick to that schedule. If you have her come at 9 and you don't leave until 11, I don't see what she has to be "annoyed" about since you are paying her for that time.

Just want to get some opinions-- my nannies hours are 9am-6pm-- but for the last year, for a variety of reasons, I have been able to have her come in about 9:30 and leave at 5:30 or before (but still paid for the full time). I am now getting busier at work and have asked her to be sure to be there at 9 each morning-- for a month or two I tried having her come in at 9 on only the mornings that I needed to leave then-- but she was constantly "forgetting" which morning was 9 or 9:30 and was late a lot-- like coming at 9:15 on the 9am mornings. Sometimes it was no big deal and with my job-- I often have a slower morning where I don't need to be in until 11-- so I would hang out with the kids and play. So- as a nanny would you be annoyed that your employer went back to 9am every morning even though some mornings your employer doesn't leave until 10? I just want it to be an easy to remember set schedule because the different arrival times during the week were a hassle.