Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,
I'm considering hiring a nanny for my kids and your situation was really troubling for me to read. The family is not a right fit for you. I can imagine how obnoxious it is for the DB to be at home with you all day. Honestly, it would drive me nuts. His just being there would make me really uncomfortable. He may not realize it. And will likely continue to do this with other nannies if someone doesn't point this out to him at some point.
I agree with collecting your entire pay and telling the family then what the issues are. Or, if you want to give them another chance you can explain that unless DB goes to work or otherwise leaves the home, you can no longer work at the house. That would be difficult for me because I'm not a confrontational person, but if you're okay with it, you might be helping the family to not make such poor choices in the future. Best of luck!

On the other hand, if the nanny tells the parents the truth, they are likely to throw a temper tantrum. Who wants that?

Hi OP,
I'm considering hiring a nanny for my kids and your situation was really troubling for me to read. The family is not a right fit for you. I can imagine how obnoxious it is for the DB to be at home with you all day. Honestly, it would drive me nuts. His just being there would make me really uncomfortable. He may not realize it. And will likely continue to do this with other nannies if someone doesn't point this out to him at some point.
I agree with collecting your entire pay and telling the family then what the issues are. Or, if you want to give them another chance you can explain that unless DB goes to work or otherwise leaves the home, you can no longer work at the house. That would be difficult for me because I'm not a confrontational person, but if you're okay with it, you might be helping the family to not make such poor choices in the future. Best of luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the others. Be direct, concise, calm and just say that you've realized this isn't the best fit for you. You appreciate the opportunity and wish them all the best but need to move on.

That being said, giving zero notice is pretty tough. Could you give them a couple of days (if they want it) to find other options? If you can minimize the hard feelings upon leaving that's always good. You don't owe them anything after just 2 weeks, but zero notice really can be incredibly tough for a family.

I agree that zero notice can be tough on a family, but this family a). lied about the job in the beginning stating he would be working which he is not and b). are making comments that are making the OP very uncomfortable.

Also, to be in a home w/a man you just met and don't really know very well can be unsettling for some. Esp. those that have been violated in the past.

Way to escalate. OP said she was uncomfortable, didn't like the job, knew that giving zero notice wasn't ideal but wanted our thoughts. She never said she was "violated in the past", she's only two weeks in so I'm not sure I would be as aggressive in saying that the family "lied" about the position, and OP never said she was unsettled w/ the father in the home - just that it was annoying.

Seems like OP knows what to do but is just debating the nuances while you're trying to make it a 3 alarm fire unnecessarily.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the others. Be direct, concise, calm and just say that you've realized this isn't the best fit for you. You appreciate the opportunity and wish them all the best but need to move on.

That being said, giving zero notice is pretty tough. Could you give them a couple of days (if they want it) to find other options? If you can minimize the hard feelings upon leaving that's always good. You don't owe them anything after just 2 weeks, but zero notice really can be incredibly tough for a family.

I agree that zero notice can be tough on a family, but this family a). lied about the job in the beginning stating he would be working which he is not and b). are making comments that are making the OP very uncomfortable.

Also, to be in a home w/a man you just met and don't really know very well can be unsettling for some. Esp. those that have been violated in the past.

Since your DB is not holding up his end of the deal (by working), you are under no obligation whatsoever of giving notice.

I have been in jobs from hell where I had to quit on the spot or lose my sanity. My sanity always won.

One caveat:
Make sure you collect any and all monies owed to you first. If paid in check, make sure the check clears w/their bank first.
After you get paid, then send a brief text message or e~mail stating that due to personal reasons, you are unable to continue working for them.

Don't worry, employment is at will. They have no legal recourse.

They lied to you about the job, plus they are making really inconsiderate comments about paying for childcare which would drive me away.

They obviously have no class to be able to say such things in front of you. My God!!!

Lucky for you that you can move on and do not rely on the money for your livelihood. Not all nannies are as lucky as you.

Good luck.

My boss when his hire is by person,when their no want me anymore their just Kiki me out by phone,I think this is very mean

MB here. I think the parents sound pretty annoying. Not only does DB hang around all the time but they whine about how much they are spending on childcare, are trying to bank hours, and add onto an already long work week for OP. DB can get off his butt and watch the kids if OP quits now. Get your check and send them an email if it makes things easier, OP. If you get a nasty email in return, you know it was the right decision.

Honestly, temp position where a parent is present... They don't need notice. And you can bet they wouldn't give you any if they were the unsatisfied ones. Don't feel guilty, just do what you need to do.

I'm not really sure why it matters to you if DB is home or not. He is paying you, what he is doing shouldn't matter to you.

Honestly just take your pay check Friday and quit via email, if speaking to them in person is hard. My worst days were when I started a new job, and had a parent lingering, now I am comfortable and don't mind it. But they didn't give you time to adjust and just threw you in, with lies. So, why the hell is DB not working? How annoying. He might not dictate, but it's still annoying to have in around. You feel like you can't relax and having an obnoxious charge doesn't help either. Just quit. Collect your pay and leave. Email, them about how you've thought about it and are not a good fit and wish them well and end it. Otherwise, take your check and let them know via person.

I know it's annoying but it doesn't seem too out of bounds so you will look unprofessional regardless of the reason but who cares.. It's temporary and you're at will, meaning, you can quit or they can fire you at any notice.

Think about it, if they didn't want your services they'd probably let you go if it fits their needs.

What do you need advice on? Just get your check and let them know on your way out the door (lol) or take the chicken shit way out and leave them a voicemail. (ouch)

I agree with the others. Be direct, concise, calm and just say that you've realized this isn't the best fit for you. You appreciate the opportunity and wish them all the best but need to move on.

That being said, giving zero notice is pretty tough. Could you give them a couple of days (if they want it) to find other options? If you can minimize the hard feelings upon leaving that's always good. You don't owe them anything after just 2 weeks, but zero notice really can be incredibly tough for a family.

+1

What exactly do you want advice on?

How to quit?

After you collect your pay on any given Friday tell them. Say you've been uncomfortable being home alone with DB for two weeks when that wasn't explained upfront, and that the ongoing comments about how much they're paying you have made you very uncomfortable. Say you don't want them to feel like you're taking advantage of them by collecting your wages and so this was your last day and best of luck in the future.

or...

Say something benign like you appreciate the opportunity to work for them but you've realized this isn't a good fit for you so you're resigning, applicable immediately, and wish them the best.

Say nothing about the children.

I could really use some advice on quitting without notice. I know this isn't the best way to handle the situation, but I feel like it is the only way. I am currently working a temporary position to and have found that it is not a good match what so ever. Of course the money is nice, but it is not needed, and I've reached the realization that I'd be happier removing myself from this working in such a stressful environment.
When I interviewed for the position, it was made clear to me that it would be a temporary position, which I have/had no problems with. We agreed on the pay, schedule, and job duties. Db informed me that both he and MB would be working full time out of the home, but I am nearly 1 1/2 weeks into this position and DB still hasn't gone to work. He has been home every day that I've worked, aside from occasional sitting, and stays with us the entire time. He doesn't boss me around or interfere with my discipline/decisions but he is really starting to get on my nerves. MB works very long hours and is typically gone from the house from 7:45-6:00. DB however is home for most of the day aside from running an occasional errand. It also really bothers me that they both constantly make comments about how much they are paying for childcare. I make $15/hr watching 2 children and the children also go to preschool in the mornings which is also quite expensive. They make comments at least a couple times a day, things like "Oh half of our income goes to childcare" or "We can't have any fun because childcare eats up all of our money", and these comments are starting to make me feel really uncomfortable. They keep adding on more and more hours, last week I worked over 60 hours which was exhausting, especially after pulling two 16 hour shifts. They keep adding on more and more occasional babysitting and make me feel really guilty if I say no. They keep trying to make me make up hours that they had previously agreed to pay for without making them up. I haven't really been able to bond with the younger son. He actually really gets on my nerves. The older son and I get along great but I know he is starting to sense some discomfort on my end.
I know quitting without giving notice is not the right way to go about things, but I honestly feel like it is the only way, especially due to the fact that it is only a temporary position.
I would love to hear what you guys think and could really use your help on deciding what and how to do it.