Thank you PP. I have thought about it yesterday since I had the day off (her family was in town) and I do think even if I put it nicely it will still cause hard feelings or she will be offending in some way. But today, since I am almost at my breaking point, I am not even sure if I care about being nice anymore lol. I thought I was going to be off today as well since the family was going to be in town until late this afternoon but nope! I got a text from her telling me that I need to come in and help for 2 hours until her husband is on his way home to put their son to bed. 2 hours. It is mind boggling especially since I can count on my hands the number of days she spent alone with him and those times were when he was just a newborn. Ugh, I am sorry I am starting to rant again. But I am seriously feeling nanny burnout. I guess it's time to move on. It just really stinks and breaks my heart since I used to love my job and I love my charge so much. It's hard not to since he is such a great little boy. I just don't think I can continue to do this anymore though. Especially when fall comes. I am supposed to move out of town with them since MB new job is a few cities away. And that's if she even goes back to work. There is a huge chance she will not go back to work (they are still moving anyways even if she works or not) and it will suck if I move with them and then this same cycle continues. AHH! lol I just have to laugh so I don't lose my mind. THank you again everyone for the advice and being a soundboard for myself!

As a nanny who has worked in your situation many times, I can assure you what you are feeling is completely normal and that you do not have to apologize for a thing my friend!!

That being said, there is really no way for you to approach this delicate situation w/out some awkwardness and offense taken.
But IF you REALLY want to keep this job and work things out, then it is worth the effort.

Find a time when the toddler is napping and you guys are casually chatting.
Let her know you love your job as well as your charge. Tell her you love coming into work each day and that you really are fortunate to have such a great family to work for. Then let her know that you just aren't sure if working alongside another adult is feasible for you. State that it can be quite challenging at times, such as when your charge does not quite listen to you like he does when his mother is not around, etc.

Hopefully she will be understanding and see your perspective. Ideally she will not be offended and will agree to give you more autonomy in the future.

However if she does get offensive, then I do not see how you both can work out any compromise unless she is willing to back off a bit.

It kinda annoys me that she is not working, yet has to have a full~time nanny by her side all day to "help" care for her child.
She should $ave herself some money and be a parent to her son.

Sorry, I kinda got off topic for a sec. It's just these types of mothers drive me nuts.
Like why have a child if you are only going to delegate the parenting to another person?

Op here, thank you so much for the helpful advice. This is exactly what I was looking for.I am not the best at wording things so this helped me out so much! Thank you!!

I suspect she doesn't know what to do either, and didn't want to fire OP just because she lost her job.

Maybe you could talk to her about taking "shifts?" Scehdule some classes that mommy takes the child to, and then mommy can go take a class, run errands, something?

I work part time, and I find I use every minute of my nanny time (nanny is full time). I take the kids to a couple of classes a week, do the food prep, and hang out with them during lunch, but I'm not sure how it is that she has 12 hours a day of nothing else to do at all ...

Anonymous wrote:- "MB, I really enjoy spending time with you and I know DC does too, but I'm beginning to feel a bit useless since you are always around to handle his needs and address all of his concerns." and then let her speak.

.

I like this one as an opener for a conversation. Especially as I would start to feel this way after a while too.

Why have a child.

Seriously, why have a kid if you don't want to take care of it. I understand a "mothers helper" or if you're disabled, but 12 hours a day of care?

Why have kids at all.

Can you bring it up in terms of the child? Like if you say, "You know DC and I really enjoy your company, but he's beginning to disregard my requests and I don't think he appreciates my authority anymore. It is really disruptive for our routine and our relationship when he always has you available to turn to - is there a way we could start to set some time aside when you won't be there, so he'll know that he can depend on me as the reliable adult in charge? I think this is really important especially since I'll be taking over FT care for him again in the fall." You can also frame it in terms of yourself - "MB, I really enjoy spending time with you and I know DC does too, but I'm beginning to feel a bit useless since you are always around to handle his needs and address all of his concerns." and then let her speak.

I dunno, I worked for an MB who did this but she was self-aware enough to bring it up with me and asked me to let her know when it became disruptive for the kids. I did, and things got a little better (not completely), but it was at least something we could talk about. My strategy when she was around was just to go completely hands-off. 4yo hitting his brother? I just watch. 2yo throwing water on the floor? I don't say a word about it. Eventually she got the message that their behavior was fine with me, okay with her, and TERRIBLE when we were both there, and now she doesn't interrupt us during my shifts at all.

Hi, I had this whole long story typed out but I'll just get straight to the point. My MB is driving me insane! My MB is a SAHM and I work full time 7am-7pm M-F and sometimes the weekend. With in that 12 hour time frame my MB is with us (or just me) for 11-12 hours (sometimes 10 hours if I am lucky and she goes run an errand without us). I don't even get a break when my charge goes down for a nap because she comes and "hangs out" with me. My whole work day is spent with my MB literally right besides me. I am not even exaggerating this by any stretch of imagination. Frankly, I don't know what to do. I used to love my job. I care for a 22 month old boy since he was a newborn. He is the sweetest, smartest, and funniest little boy I ever had the pleasure of caring for. And MB worked full time so I never ran into this issue before. But MB's job ended and she doesn't start a new job until this fall (if she does at all).

I was just wondering if there is a way I could make this work. My guess right now is no but I thought I could come on here for advice. I am just looking for a way to bring this up to her and not cause hard feelings especially since I do not want to quit. But mentally I can't take it much more. Now my charge is starting to disregard my authority because his mom will "override" me and let him do things that he knows he is not supposed to. The combo of everything is becoming too much. I just don't know what to do anymore. If you work in an office setting, imagine your boss in your cubicle or office from the time you punch in until the time you punch out. I am sure you would go bonkers as well!

And before others suggest that I tell her to go nap or that I go take my charge to the park or what have you, that does not work. She just either makes up excuses not to leave or just joins us to where ever we go. lol I just have to laugh as I type that because it sounds so insane. I mean, the other day, she had me go with her to meet with her friends! Talk about awkward!! Sorry, I know this all sounds like 1 big rant but I really would love suggestions on how to bring up this topic. Should I bring it up with both parents or just her? How should I word it? Any suggestion on how to break the news gently would help a ton! Thank you in advance.