If you really want advice about how to deal with your husband, take this to the relationships forum.

Here, we can only really comment on the nanny's behavior, and I agree that she sounds very unreliable. More concerning than the actual time off (which, while a lot, doesn't sound wildly excessive when you look at her reasons) is her attitude when you asked her to adjust her sick day. That alone tells me she isn't interested in working WITH you, but is out for all she can get.

IF you pay poorly, this is what you are likely to get in another nanny too. If you pay fairly, you should have no trouble finding an excellent nanny who will not need days off regularly.

You are not required to give her all of this extra, unpaid time off. Maybe this nanny needs more than the standard two weeks of vacation, but it sounds like that won't work for your family.

Our first nanny was like this; she had family out of the country, and took multi-week trips. She also seemed to need a lot of days for personal appointments and errands. She was nannying in between college and "something else," and didn't really need the money, so unpaid time off was not a big diesl for her. When we had one kid, it was annoying, but OK, because I could fill in and work during naps. As soon as baby #2 arrived, we hired someone who actually wants to get paid for fulltime employment, and so shows up every day.

People who are well-compensated for their work usually perform well on the job and are typically stable.

People who are paid poorly are notoriously
"HIGH TURNOVER".

What do you expect?

(Hint: You get what you pay for.)

Anonymous wrote:Another bargain bimbo hired and fired. Lovely. Any plans to stop this insanity? When is enough, enough? It's your child here, not your puppy.

Very unhelpful and unfounded judgement. OP never said what she is paying her nanny, so how do you know she is "bargain". OP also doesn't want to fire her nanny because her LO loves her. Sounds like this is a mother who is putting her child's needs and and happiness above her own. Unfortunately, she just had a nanny who is unreliable and possibly taking advantage of OP's patience and flexibility.

Would you idiots stop criticizing the parent for her choice in a nanny? Yes, we know the nanny is not going to work for this family, but you don't know anything other than that. Even nannies who make a lot of money can be irresponsible.

Another bargain bimbo hired and fired. Lovely. Any plans to stop this insanity? When is enough, enough? It's your child here, not your puppy.

Anonymous wrote:I would start looking for a new nanny. If she has already taken this much time off, paid or not, since she has started with you, it is going to continue and you will constantly be looking for back up sitters or having to stay home yourself.

Agreed. She's proving herself to be unreliable.

Revolving nanny door, here we come. Poor children.

I would start looking for a new nanny. If she has already taken this much time off, paid or not, since she has started with you, it is going to continue and you will constantly be looking for back up sitters or having to stay home yourself.

OP here. Here's the breakdown of here time off

Just to be clear, she started on Nov 26 and by the time May 26 rolls around this year, she will have been off 4 weeks

3 days unpaid (she had to get her passport etc)
5 days accrued in May from Nov for Paid vacation + 5 days unpaid since she's going to Central america for 2 weeks
3 days sick (tomorrow is her 3rd)
2 days unpaid for helping her mom
PLUS all the holidays that have transpired since late nov


Gosh i hate to start the process already.

I would find a new nanny. She isn't reliable.

That is an absurd amount of time to have taken off in such a short period of time. I'm with your husband on this one. The fact that she copped an attitude with you over your request to take half a sick day for a doctor's appointment says a lot...unless her appointment is really long or far away, making half a day difficult to pull off.

Are all of these days off at her request? If so it's time to look for a new nanny...one who is a bit more reasonable with the time she asks off for.

I've been at my current job 3 1/2 years, and in that time I've only used 2 sick days. Anytime I have an appointment I try to schedule for first thing in the morning or late afternoon/evening to minimize the inconvenience to my employers. I rarely need to adjust my schedule more than two hours to accommodate appointments. I also try to plan trips for when my employers will already be out of town to minimize the inconvenience. The only times I've need to take a day off when they are in town have been one or two days a couple times a year.

Your husband is right. 4 weeks in 6 months is too much and not professional.

I'm a little confused. Why has she taken 3 weeks of vacation and 3 sick days? I mean, when she asked to take a week of vacation, why didn't you say no?

At my job you aren't "handed" two weeks of vacation. You earn your vacation hours as you work. So by the time you've worked for 6 months you've earned a week of vacation (40 hours). If you structured it that way, she wouldn't be able to take off two+ weeks of vacation right at the start.

Our Nanny has been with us since the last week of November. We negotiated the standard: 5 sick, 2 weeks paid.

Since the time she started until her official 6 months with us, with vacation, unpaid and sick time, she'll have been out almost 4 weeks. She got an attitude when I asked her if she could only take a half sick day for a doctor's appt since all my sitters were not available. I cringe having to tell my husband who feels that she's out way too much. She'll have used up her 3rd sick day tomorrow on a doctor's appt. And I'm thinking--- really, you should plan for actually being sick.

Any advice on this? I think about getting rid of her but my LO loves her.