You are welcome. I took classes from them about 15 years ago. They had some great instructors back then.

I hadn't heard of them -- thank you!

The Montgomery Child Care Association offers courses for those working with children. It is geared for those who work in preschools and daycare, but your nanny would also learn a lot from the classes.

Anonymous wrote:

She hates seeing them cry, which I understand, but is not helping us out in this situation. I really want to keep her (she's been with us a little over a year), and I know she wants to be more firm, but she just seems bewildered when confronted with 3-year-old intransigence and manipulation.

I will admit that she's not the brightest person in the world -- whe takes direction well (usually), but is not good at coming up with her own solutions or taking the initiative. I'm just not available to troubleshoot every situation with her each day or to hold her hand through it, which is why I thought a class might give her a better "toolkit" (and maybe some roleplay) than hearing what we do when she's not here.

I'm not sure why you want to keep her. She doesn't sound like a skilled nanny.

We are having another baby in June, and, like I said, she's great with babies. She also knows our routine, and she has a terrific temperment for our older kids, who need someone calm. I also feel some loyalty to her; I hired her knowing she didn't have older-child experience as a nanny, and I feel like I owe it to her to help her try to improve before I just let her go. I also don't want to spring a new baby and a new nanny on the kids simultaneously if I can help it.

She hates seeing them cry, which I understand, but is not helping us out in this situation. I really want to keep her (she's been with us a little over a year), and I know she wants to be more firm, but she just seems bewildered when confronted with 3-year-old intransigence and manipulation.

I will admit that she's not the brightest person in the world -- whe takes direction well (usually), but is not good at coming up with her own solutions or taking the initiative. I'm just not available to troubleshoot every situation with her each day or to hold her hand through it, which is why I thought a class might give her a better "toolkit" (and maybe some roleplay) than hearing what we do when she's not here.

I'm not sure why you want to keep her. She doesn't sound like a skilled nanny.

OP - could you see if there's a way to help her find a couple of other nannies in your neighborhood with whom she could build a peer group? Maybe it would be helpful for her to have some colleagues with whom to share ideas etc...

If you have a neighborhood listserv maybe you could try that. A mom in my neighborhood recently reached out for something like this for her nanny who'd like to have people to get together with during the day.

OP here -- I hadn't thought about the community college; I'll definitely look into that.

And thank you to everyone being helpful!

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you taking the parenting class? A nanny is not supposed to be the surrogate parent.

She is supposed to not let a 3 year old control her though, right??

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you taking the parenting class? A nanny is not supposed to be the surrogate parent.

Go away.

A nanny needs to be prepared to enforce the same discipline techniques the parents use to provide consistency of care and reliable boundaries/expectations for the children. This nanny is having a difficult time fulfilling her responsibilities and so her MB is looking for a way to help her.

Your comment, on the other hand, is completely unhelpful.

Why aren't you taking the parenting class? A nanny is not supposed to be the surrogate parent.

She hates seeing them cry, which I understand, but is not helping us out in this situation. I really want to keep her (she's been with us a little over a year), and I know she wants to be more firm, but she just seems bewildered when confronted with 3-year-old intransigence and manipulation.

I will admit that she's not the brightest person in the world -- whe takes direction well (usually), but is not good at coming up with her own solutions or taking the initiative. I'm just not available to troubleshoot every situation with her each day or to hold her hand through it, which is why I thought a class might give her a better "toolkit" (and maybe some roleplay) than hearing what we do when she's not here.

Is she sort of a doormat kind of person, in general, OP?

She should take a college ECE course at local community college for discipline. This will teach her a wide variety of techniques for all age groups. She can take them at night. But if she doesn't like this option, your local library or preschool can direct you to local workshops.

When I hired our nanny, I knew she had mostly worked with the 2-and-under child range, and she clearly loooooves working with babies (we had a 2 year old and an infant when she started). She was good with our older child -- patient and creative -- but he is now 3, and she is having a lot of trouble with discipline. He is not unusually difficult; it's totally age-appropriate, maddening stuff like refusing to put on his shoes when it's time to go, or acting like he doesn't hear you is he's asked to do something.

We gave her 1-2-3 Magic to read, and we've been telling her what we do when she's not here, but she just isn't good at being firm (she'll negotiate, and negotiate, and negotiate, and when that doesn't work, she calls me). She has two kids of her own who are older than mine, so I thought she'd have strategies that work, but not so much!

Does anyone know if there's a class I could send her to that would meet during her working hours (MoCo, 8-5)? I was hoping for maybe a one-time class.