I would not be hurt if I was completely left out of a birthday celebration. I love my charges and do my best when I'm with them. I have usually been invited to birthday parties, but I see them as something extra, not expected.

uhh... you're not upset..you're fine with it.. so what's the problem?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She is the type to continue to ream things in about how its black or white....so just wanted see other's POV...to get some insight on how others have handled stuff like this....bite me please.

I used to come on these boards for insight/POVs'/ just discussion as well. Sadly, it's usually met with a knee jerk, jump down your throat, "get over yourself, who cares" attitude. Sorry you experienced the same...
That said, your friend sounds like she thinks very highly of herself. Personally, if my employers invited me to a two-hours-out-of-town party, I would be hard pressed to attend, I'd most likely just take it as a gesture.

Look at this differently - MB cares enough about you and those in her child's daily circle of friends, that she is having a whole separate celebration for his caregiver and playmates to attend even though she's going out of town for the party with relatives who dont live close by. I don't think that's something to be upset about. I've always invited my child's nanny to his parties and with both nannies, they always politely declined. I didn't blame them. Kid birthday parties are not exactly fun or interesting, and if I were a nanny, I wouldn't want to give up my free Saturday to trek out to the local bounce house and hang out with my MB's friends. So the fact that she is having a party locally, with people you will at least generally know, and maybe have something in common with if you've organized the play dates, is kind of nice, and more considerate of you than asking you to make time in your free time to travel to her mother in law's house (or whatever relative).

I don't really understand why so many on this board get in such a tizzy about birthday parties. In my own family, kids birthday parties are generally for family members and a few very close friends until the kids are old enough to have school friends. I'm sure a lot of the families I've worked for are the same way. Some have invited me, some haven't. I've never taken it personally.

How people have handled busybody nannies who try to stir up trouble where none exists? We ignore them and focus on how we feel.

OP here. She is the type to continue to ream things in about how its black or white....so just wanted see other's POV...to get some insight on how others have handled stuff like this....bite me please.

OP here. I meant to say she is invited and presented as her nanny and is the guest of honor and to me it seems like it (knowing her) becomes about her n her appearance and not being understanding it is abut the child. She's also a very highly sensitive person.

Who cares. Leave it alone.

She knows what works for her, you know what works for you. Why are you so concerned about what another nanny thinks if you're okay with it?

So, I am invited to a birthday celebration for my charge that MB and I are working on here, at their house.

This one is for the playdates of my charge and fellow nannies and MBs who should up. Should be a small group.

The actual birthday celebration is going to be out of town---2 hours away or so, where their family is.

I was not invited. I didn't expect to be.....since it is out of town. Also, she is making a dual birthday celebration, the following weekday, is when we will have round two, for play date friends.

I don't see the big deal.

BUT, a fellow nanny friend of mine who has been close to her family even went out of town for her charge's birthday and stated she would be hurt if she didn't celebrate the big day with her charge. I told her I am celebrating his big day, and she said ..'not his actual birthday celebration' and 'you should be upset, I would be'. I don't know. I think its fine.


She doesn't think so. She is use to being the guest at the event and almost making it about her then anything...so is she right or not?