Anonymous wrote:I have one nanny friend that I have ref families too, but they do always ask me again first to sit for them.

On the other hand, my sister sits as well when I'm booked on evenings and weekends (babysits beyond her non childcare job, whereas I have a nanny position) and families will, after a few times of me not being available, check with her first. I think they think it's fine since she is family, and their right. This doesn't bother me since she is my sister, but honestly, if it was my nanny friend they went to instead, I would feel hurt.

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I have one nanny friend that I have ref families too, but they do always ask me again first to sit for them.

On the other hand, my sister sits as well when I'm booked on evenings and weekends (babysits beyond her non childcare job, whereas I have a nanny position) and families will, after a few times of me not being available, check with her first. I think they think it's fine since she is family, and their right. This doesn't bother me since she is my sister, but honestly, if it was my nanny friend they went to instead, I would feel hurt.

You can give names and numbers to families or not, it isn't right or wrong either way.

It's clearly one of four issues: cost (do you charge more?), availability (are their schedules more set/open?), performance (do they go the extra mile that you don't?), or family fit (especially if one of the kids normally has a hard time with new sitters and really takes to someone).

I personally have never found myself edged out of a babysitting "position" because I shared contacts, so I continue to do so when asked.

Maybe you're not as "damn good" as you think you are.

Amen what PP said!!1

MB here - if you were the best caregiver for my child and you gave me the name of a friend of yours who was close but not quite as good I still might hire her more often if she was more available or her personality clicked better with mine. But if you were really so much further above the competition I'd appreciate you giving me a name of a friend when you were busy and come right back to hiring you when you aren't.

If this keeps happening to you over and over again I'd try to find out why - is it that your friends charge more competitive rates than you and are still pretty good? Is it that they click better with your prior families? Or is it that your nanny friends are every bit as great as you are, maybe even better?

For occasional babysitters, availability trumps all. So, if 3 out of 5 times I called you, you couldn't do it, and your friend is almost always available, then I'd probably start calling her first if you're both good sitters.

You're busy, and have a book full of families, which is great for you, but less so for them.

You could try starting a babysitter referral service where you book everybody and charge a fee, but that would be A LOT of work.

I sometimes give my fellow nanny friends, information about some families I sit for, that might need a sit and I'm not able to cover. I have noticed then, these families stop asking me to sit less and less and through the grapevine hear that my other nanny friends are sitting for them more and more. This kinda upsets me because this means I am losing by clients and don't want the kids to forget me!

I think I am going to stop giving the other families my other nanny friend's information, as I don't want to lose them either!

I think it is a bad idea, to basically give your competitor free projects, since they can ultimately take all the credit!

So, from now on, I won't give any nannies any families to sit for, they will have to just find one of their own!

Is this wrong of me?..

Any one agree with me OR have been in my situation? Lost client because they preferred other friend over you?


I am damn good. That is why I have a little book of clients, problem is I work 35-45 hours a week--- BUT my schedules changes every month that some weeks, I work 35, so I am flexible! Just I know timing is a big issue~