OP here-- thanks so much for all your (varying) advice. It is so helpful to have different experiences and perspectives.

On reflection, it will be extremely difficult for us to do another nanny search when we get back. This is a very crazy/stressful time professionally and I want to make sure that I (1) have everything in order when we return because I can't really take off and (2) spend my non-working time with the kids! She is such a wonderful nanny, I really want to find someway to make this work. I also realize that she needs to pay her bills!

I guess my nightmare scenario is that we find some way to pay her (ask my parents to help?) and that she finds another job anyway...then I am out $6500 and don't have a nanny. My dream situation is that we magically find some family who needs a nanny for a month or two while they are on a daycare list or something. Not sure how agencies work, but that is a helpful thought...maybe we could pay some fees associated with signing up with an agency? Though she is the type who values long term relationships with families, so not sure this will be her thing. It's worth asking her, I guess.

We are talking about 8 months from now...so I think I have some time to think about how to frame this conversation but still give her lots and lots of notice. Dreading this!!!!!

How loyal is she? unless she is exceptionally loyal, I would not pay her. We paid a nanny for maternity leave and she only worked one week after she came back.

There is no guarentee that she will still want to work for you once you come back. She may spend the time job hunting for the best possible job to replace her current one.

I love my current position so much and am confident that I could find a temporary position for two months with this much notice. Just approach her with your conundrum, let her know you hope to keep her but understand if you cannot and see what you guys can do.

If you are paying legally then can't you lay her off and she can collect unemployment? If not, I'm not sure what advice to give. I work for an amazing family and would be do sad to leave them someday but there's no way I could pay my bills if I lost income for 2 months. I couldn't take a 50% cut either. I'd be left with no choice but to find another position. I think you need to devise a plan and talk to her ASAP so she can begin a job search if need be.

Anonymous wrote:We adore our nanny...but will be spending 6-8 weeks in another state this fall and I am not sure what to do.

I am not sure that we can afford to pay 2 nannies and she has young children of her own so I don't think we could ask her to come with us. I haven't discussed this with her yet, but what approach should I take? Can I find another family only looking for a nanny for a month? Do I chalk this up the "cost of having children" and find a way to pay her?

Anyone have experience with a situation like this?

MB here. If you are lucky enough to have a nanny you adore, you should chalk this up to one of those unexpected family costs and find a way to pay her. We are only talking 2 months and it is worth not losing someone that works well with your family.

Lay her off during that time so she can collect unemployment.

I agree with PP - figure out your options ASAP and let her know ASAP, and suggest she register with an agency (if she isn't already) that provides on-going/temp/on-call nannies for parents. She should have no trouble filling those days!

You should talk it through with her (after figuring out what your financial options are). If it means an end to the employment that's sad for everyone but you're certainly giving her LOTS of notice. If there is a way to work it through maybe you and she can figure it out together.

There are ways to help her find short term employment (the agencies that provide "parent relief" type care for illness, nanny vacations, etc... come to mind). Something like that could perhaps be a solution for both of you. Maybe they would have someone interested in being a temporary nanny for you, and some employment options for your permanent nanny while you're away. That's optimistic but it could happen given how much time you have to work it through.

I'm sorry but you need to pay her. This is something that I make sure is ALWAYS in my work agreements with the families I nanny for. It isn't the nannies fault that you are going away for that long and it wouldn't be fair for you to not pay her.

Maybe you can ask her to do some house sitting while you are gone so it can make up for some of the hours? Either way, if you want her to be your nanny when you come back, you need to pay her.

I think you decide what you want to do. Do you want her when you come back? If so, you probably need to pay her, or at least offer her 1/2 pay and help with a temporary job search.

If you are willing to look for someone new when you return, then do that.

And, if you would like her to come with you, you could always ask, but you're going to have to pay her way above her regular salary.

Get a temp nanny for your trip, and see if you offset the regular nanny wages by helping her find some temp work.

We adore our nanny...but will be spending 6-8 weeks in another state this fall and I am not sure what to do.

I am not sure that we can afford to pay 2 nannies and she has young children of her own so I don't think we could ask her to come with us. I haven't discussed this with her yet, but what approach should I take? Can I find another family only looking for a nanny for a month? Do I chalk this up the "cost of having children" and find a way to pay her?

Anyone have experience with a situation like this?