Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get it on video or audio, him shouting at/about the kids.

Then tell her you're concerned about their emotional development given his anger problems, play it back for her, and then you're done. Something will happen one way or another and it'll be out of your hands and no longer your responsibility.

Is that legal? Given it's not my house.

Um... you're not taking it to trial, you're showing it to MB. So yes. It is legal.

RECORD HIM. What, are you a lawyer preparing a court case? It's not like you will go to jail for recording some loser screaming at her kids. Record her and tell her he is a bad influence on the kids.

Also, update that resume.

Bump.

Please need some legit advice.

Anonymous wrote:Get it on video or audio, him shouting at/about the kids.

Then tell her you're concerned about their emotional development given his anger problems, play it back for her, and then you're done. Something will happen one way or another and it'll be out of your hands and no longer your responsibility.

Is that legal? Given it's not my house.

Get it on video or audio, him shouting at/about the kids.

Then tell her you're concerned about their emotional development given his anger problems, play it back for her, and then you're done. Something will happen one way or another and it'll be out of your hands and no longer your responsibility.

Anonymous wrote:Looks like put up or shut up. One of those no wins.

Wouldn't those be the same option.

Looks like put up or shut up. One of those no wins.

Anonymous wrote:Use that nanny cam. Talk to her and tell her what is going on. However, if she is so taken that she is willing to let a jobless skenk move into her home, she's going to believe him, not you. If you think, or suspect, he is mistreating children and she won't listen, then call their father.

I don't think he is abusing the children, if that was the case I would be in prison. I just don't think he's the nice guy she thinks he is. I think he's a lazy good for nothing piece of shit.

Anonymous wrote:If she had to choose between boyfriend and you, which do you think it'd be?

Boyfriend obviously, however that was not my question.

Should I approach her, or let it go and hope she figures out on her own.

If she had to choose between boyfriend and you, which do you think it'd be?

Use that nanny cam. Talk to her and tell her what is going on. However, if she is so taken that she is willing to let a jobless skenk move into her home, she's going to believe him, not you. If you think, or suspect, he is mistreating children and she won't listen, then call their father.

Book. What's your question? Should you stay there?

I've been with my current family for almost 5 years. I was with MB during the first weeks of her oldest DC life. I was with MB during the birth of her second DC. I was with MB during her (horrible) divorce. I can honestly say I love and care for this family, I'd hate to see anyone take advantage of MB or her children. Which is unfortunate, the current situation.

MB is a very intelligent woman. She is able to single-handedly support herself, her two children, and her staff without any issues. She is paid VERY well, and it's very obvious to anyone around. She met her current "boyfriend" right before Christmas. He moved in in mid-February. He claims to have been kicked out of his apartment because his roommate was angry that he ratted her out for drug use. I think it's because he much rather live in a 7 bedroom, 6 1/2 bathroom house. He is jobless, he claims he is a model. I've looked him up online and he does have a modeling page, but it's for one of those "fresh faces" sites. He has done some catalogue work, but not nearly enough to support himself. He tells MB that he is sending the (massive) amounts of money to his sick grandmother. I guess this is possible, but since I see him sit on his ass all day and watch TV I wonder when he models? Maybe during the weekend, whatever, I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. It is so obvious to me that he uses her, so obvious. As I said, she is a bright woman, but I guess she's not above being "blinded by love."

He treats me and the children poorly. In front of MB he is so loving to the children, and respectful of me and the house maid but once she's gone to work he shuts himself in her bedroom only to yell at me to keep the children quiet or tell the maid to make him some food (it's not her responsibility, and she is fluent in English so she pretty much does whatever he asks, I told her to stop. He is not our boss, she is. He has no right to tell either of us what to do.) He talks down to the maid, and makes fun of her in front of the children. She is Vietnamese and he'll mock her accent, I really hate this guy. The children are 4 and 2, the oldest is nonverbal and sometimes a complete handful. He often meltdown, or when overly excited will shriek. Twice this "man" has yelled at me to "Shut that little fucker up". I have never had such complete and utter disdain for a person. He is a completely different person when MB is home, it's disgusting. He is playing her like a fiddle, and I don't know why she can't see it? He lies lies lies, and I've caught him so many times. He knows I hate him. I've tried to talk with MB about him, but I'm at the point where I fear for my job when I bring him up. Her mother told her what we all know is true, that he is using her for money. She became so angry with her, that they rarely have spoken. I'm very close to her mother, and it's literally breaking her heart to see her daughter be taken advantage of, and have her grandchildren live in the same home with this "man." I'm having a real hard time knowing where the line of professionalism versus the line of my personal concern for this family. I want to approach her, but in a strictly professional way. I need her to know how he treats the maid and I, and how he speaks to the children because it is my job to protect them. I'm at a loss, I don't want to lose this job. I dearly love these children and MB as well. I was once young too, I've made the mistakes of staying with men because I so badly wanted that intimacy. However, I'm older now and know that it's not worth sacrificing your self worth. I don't know if she realizes, and is just so lonely or if she truly is trying to convince herself this guy is the real deal. How do I address the issues? What should I mention and how should I mention it?