So many of these wealthy MBs (and DBs) are so out of touch with reality it isn't even funny. There's a fine line between being a good employer and a good person in general. Whether you're MB is a good person in general or not seems debatable. However, as an employer, it seems as if she is doing an alright job (minus the fact that she's slowly adding more and more chores to your daily to do list). If you don't want to complete these chores at no extra charge - say so. It is your right to be able to voice your opinion if you feel strongly enough about a certain issue. However, it is also your MB's right to decide she wants to hire someone who WILL be a nanny and housekeeper at the same rate she is currently paying you.

You know, you have to speak up. My nanny also has young kids, but she has a mom and a husband with a flexible schedule. I probably would have asked her if she needed to take days off if her child was in the hospital, but even when one had surgery, she tried to minimize her time off b/c she wants to save her PTO for vacation and emergencies, and her husband was able to work nights that week so he could be at the hospital more.

My point is, she should have said something out of decency and politeness, but if you need time off, you need to say so. No one knows your situation, or what you want.

Op here: I just can't understand why the kids go to dad's house on Saturday and only go back to their house on Monday after school and she can't even make the kids bed, the bed from Saturday is there for me to make it in Saturday.

I have always been the employee that goes te extra mile for my employer but if I feel I can't count on them when needed then that is where I draw the line and do the bare minimum, and this exactly what happened with my employer now. She has proven me I can't count on her in case of emergency. She has a very flexible job and when my 11 month old was admitted to the hospital and was there for 3 days and 2 nights, an you ladies probably knows how it is to be in a hospital with a toddler, and she didn't even offer to give me those days off. With no sleep and leaving my baby at the hospital to go to work was the end for me. She never even asked if I needed to stay with him, nothjng, she just acted like it was nothing. After that I was just done with the going above and beyond. Ohh and after he was sent home she told me " you knew you didn't have to come right?! I don't want you to think I made you come to work at such time" ! Really?! Now you tell me that?!

I think you have every right to vent and feel a little annoyed, but honestly I'd let it go depending on if you feel you are being fairly compensated or not. I make $17/hr and was originally hired under the same pretense you were. Now it's the norm for me to do laundry and load/unload dishwasher. At first I was annoyed and scared that I would be taken advantage of in the future. Then I realized, I'd be busting my ass in an office at a 9-5 job to make the money I make now working afternoons 4 days a week. In every job you will ever have your employer will expect a stellar, above average employee to go the extra mile. If you choose to stick to the basics and only do the bare minimum, you will be seen as an average employee.

I'm an MB and in your situation I'd feel annoyed. I have a reverse situation - our nanny is not asked to do ANY housework except clean up after her activities with our DC during the day. I make sure the dishwasher is unloaded before I leave in the morning and whatever she might need to dress DC in during the day is always clean, in its place, and available. At most our nanny may have to refill DC's diaper drawer or empty the diaper pail if she uses the last diaper or fills the pail.

Yet our nanny has had to be reminded to do the minimal cleaning tasks assigned to her - cleaning up toys after they are used, putting dishes in the dishwasher, and sweeping up after meals. She's wonderful in other areas, but cleaning is not one of her strong points.

You're within your bounds to ask for a clarification on how often you should expect to do the chores that you discussed at the start of your employment.

Op here-- I don't see them as my "family" .I care about the kids a lot, but this is my job. I have also learned to separate things and know that the families I have worked for is my job and not a friend.

Honestly...At the end of the day they will NEVER care about how we feel we're THE HELP and your always replaceable....No matter how much they say they love you and your part of there family you will never be. ITS HARSH BUT TRUE!!!Your not there blood. They will always look out for themselves first. I'm not an angry MB I'm a nanny!!!I've had to learn where to drawn the line even though its hard. I love my charges with all my heart but I've learned to sort of numb myself. My advice is if you don't want to do it don't.

Anonymous wrote:I would just tell her you thought you were just helping with those tasks occasionally and negotiated your rate accordingly. Now that it turns out she needs helpndaily, you need to raise your rate to reflect what you're actually doing. My guess is either you'll ,ake more money or being dealing with less laundry and fewer dirty dishes.

+1000

I would just tell her you thought you were just helping with those tasks occasionally and negotiated your rate accordingly. Now that it turns out she needs helpndaily, you need to raise your rate to reflect what you're actually doing. My guess is either you'll ,ake more money or being dealing with less laundry and fewer dirty dishes.

It's oh so easy to be taken advantage of.

Of course you have a right to feel annoyed. You have a right to feel anything you want.

Meant to say annoying not oily. Stupid autocorrect.

I have been with this family for a year now and I am with then part-time. When I interviewed with MB she said she wanted a little help with things around the house, she told me what she needed help with besides the kids and that was to help with laundry when she didn't get to it, unload the dishwasher when she dont get to it, clean up after the kids of course and I was ok with it. When we discussed about the housework she needed help with she told me she usually does the laundry and the only help she needed was in case there was a load left she didn't get a chance to do it, fold it or whatever, but that she was very good with keeping her laundry on track. She also said she is usually very good with unloading the dishwasher and she needed help if she didn't get to it. Now, I am ok with folding the load of the laundry she left drying in the morning before she left to work, even though it wasn't my responsibility, and I am also ok with unloading the dishwasher as well.

Before I go to what my question is, I need to give a little background. I work afternoons M-Thursday. She is divorced and the kids go to dad's house on Saturday evening and come back on Monday after school. Here is my question, I don't know if I am just being too picky, but I work until Thursday and I always leave everything in perfect condition every day before my day is over, specially on thursday. If the kids had a play date on Friday, the toys will not be picked up in their playroom when I come back on monday. The dishwasher is usually for me to unload and the laundry is all for me to fold. She doesn't fold her laundry and what was to be a help when needed became my responsibility. I of course fold and put it away and do he dishes. I have tried leaving the laundry in the dryer or folded, she doesn't fold and neither put it away, and I of course end up doing the next day because I need my job. If the dishes in the dishwasher in clean, all the dishes she used she lays them in the counter, and even if the dishwasher is empty she still doesn't put her dirty dishes in. Not to mention when I come on Monday the kid's bed are not made, keeping in mind last night they slept at home was Saturday night.

Overall she is a great MB, don't micromanage, she always pays me when she doesn't need me, and I have never had a problem with that, but she never does any extra for me, which is fine because she only needs to pay me for what is agreed on. But it is starting to annoy me how she is having this attitude of " oh I have a nanny so I don't need to pick because she has too"

I am not saying I will quit because of this but it is starting to annoy me. Am I being difficult and oily in here or am I within my rights to feel annoyed?