For me, it's the little things. Saying "please" and "thank-you" goes a long way. Also a simple acknowledgement when I do something helpful that I didn't really have to do as part of my job. I thrive in that kind of situation, and it's very easy to try to please employers like that. My employers are so kind to me, I don't nickle and dime them if they arrive home 15 min. late. It's win-win.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, say thank you, or say..."Oh that is so great you took care of that. I appreciate it!"

Thanks, etc. is so big and goes a long way!

Also, one more thing - ask how she is, how was her weekend, is she feeling better (if she was sick), how is xyz going (something she mentioned to you in previous conversation). My employer never asks about me, but supposedly "loves me". I hear that once a year in a card for Christmas, and when I ask if they are happy with me. She never asks, for instance, how my sick cat is, after I was so concerned about him being sick. She doesn't ask how was my weekend, whether I had fun at some event I went to, etc. You get it. Makes me feel like she really only gives a shit about my job performance but I could die tomorrow and it would be no skin off her nose.

Oh my god I would never ask about your sick cat. Hell, I hate cats and their shedding so much that if I knew someone had a cat I'd never hire them. I don't ask my nanny how they are or how their weekend is. I kind of don't really care. You want stroking? To me, that's the equivilent of a verbal tip. Useless.

OP, have straight-forward communication. Don't be passive aggressive, and when the nanny goes above and beyond, tip her in her paycheck. Money speaks very loudly.

Yes, say thank you, or say..."Oh that is so great you took care of that. I appreciate it!"

Thanks, etc. is so big and goes a long way!

Also, one more thing - ask how she is, how was her weekend, is she feeling better (if she was sick), how is xyz going (something she mentioned to you in previous conversation). My employer never asks about me, but supposedly "loves me". I hear that once a year in a card for Christmas, and when I ask if they are happy with me. She never asks, for instance, how my sick cat is, after I was so concerned about him being sick. She doesn't ask how was my weekend, whether I had fun at some event I went to, etc. You get it. Makes me feel like she really only gives a shit about my job performance but I could die tomorrow and it would be no skin off her nose.

I just received a text from my MB that made me tear up, in a good way. Of course little gifts are always appreciated but WORDS go so far! It was so reassuring to know she appreciates my hard work and dedication to the kids and that motivates me to be the best I can be for them. She also is very respectful of my time, always texts when she is going to be late (which is often - but she more than makes up for it), and is SUPER understanding when things don't go as well as I'd like (one kid won't go down for a nap, not enough time to get the laundry folded, a little extra screen time on an "off" day). I am so very lucky to have found my perfect match in this family and it sounds like you have too! Congratulations to you both!

Yeah - let her leave on time! My boss gets home the minute (or a few minutes later) that I am supposed to be driving away to get to a class on time...then she wants to talk about the day/kids/herself....no matter how rushed I act, how much I say I am late and will not get there on time, got to go right now, etc., she just keeps doing it! But then she is disrespectful and inconsiderate in so many ways, this should not be a surprise to me.

The list above was terrific. All of the things were spot-on. Right now, I would really appreciate direct communication about my employer's preferences, rather than to hear nothing but then have my actions/decisions nitpicked later.

One thing I would add....say thank you after she has come to work sick (as long as that is what you wanted her to do). My employers want me to work no matter what, and have even asked me to work when I had the stomach flu. I had the regular flu last month (had the flu shot but it didn't keep me from getting this). It was horrible. I worked for a full week - 5 long days - with it, and really wanted to hear someone acknowledge the effort I put in to do that. Sadly, I heard nothing.

Thanks, everyone!

You sound lovely, so forgive me if these seem obvious to you.

Let her leave on time every day. If you want to check in at the end of the day, make sure that time is built into her schedule.
Offer her a healthcare stipend (this might be something to do at a 6 or 12 month anniversary, if you're not offering it yet, as a way to keep her -happily- long-term)
Give her paid sick days
Be as flexible as you can when she requests an afternoon off, etc., and she will absolutely reciprocate when you need an earlier morning etc.
Give her any kind of Christmas bonus you can
Don't try to bank hours you don't use - have her work her schedule or accept that sometimes you'll pay her for time you don't use her (just like a daycare)
Say thank you at the end of the week or for specific things you appreciate (this can go a LONG way)
Tell her how happy you are to have her back when she's gone on vacation/after a long weekend/etc.
If you go on vacation, bring her back something small - something like a local treat or a christmas ornament, to let her know you were thinking of her
Communicate clearly and openly what you want her to do - this is much better than having to correct her, even kindly, after the fact

Honestly, BECAUSE you are aware and want to make that effort, you have nothing to worry about. You sound awesome. When I moved to a new state for my live-in job I was homesick at first and my MB and DB did lots of little things to make sure I was happy. Little cards/gifts or even a note "from" the baby just to say I was doing a great job were things that really helped. I don't need gifts but even just a note to say thank you was so nice and made me feel at home! Now I've been here for two years and we are all just really close and I'm very happy!

You sound great and I'm sure you won't have trouble keeping her happy! What I really appreciate in a good boss is that they respect me as a professional (ie. they do all the things they ought to do as my employers) but they are also considerate of me as a human being (ie. not expecting me to drive in the snow, paying me for sick days knowing I don't abuse them, being flexible with me when I have something going on in my personal life)

Hi,

New MB here. We've found a wonderful nanny for our 6 month old and would like for her to stay with us long term, esp. since we want more kids in the future. We believe her contract is quite fair and she is well compensated, but I am looking for advice on nice, creative "little things" that I can do to make sure she stays happy and feels appreciated. (E.g., for V-Day, we got her flowers, chocolates, and a card "from" our DS.) Any suggestions?