Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't start with this solution as it's very either/or. Instead I would present it as, "We really don't need you on these mornings, and we'd really like to add a date-night once in a while. We could move those hours to an evening sometime if you want to stay at 45, or we could cut the hours and hire an outside sitter if you really don't want to do evenings and would like those mornings off, or we could come up with some other tasks within those hours" (if that's something you're interested in).

I like the bolded part of this suggestion, but the second part about hiring and outside sitter rubs me the wrong way.

The big question is are the days the same every month? How far in advance will you know? While it's great to have mornings to make appointments, it won't do the nanny any good if she only knows month by month. My doctor's office books up fast.

I'm the PP. I see your point. My point is just that the MB should approach the nanny with this problem (We are paying you for time we don't need and there is another time we do need) and try to have more of a give and take. Maybe the nanny would rather come in on a Weekend morning while they have a brunch date, or maybe she truly would rather just not be paid for those hours if the alternative is to work another time. Be open to solutions you may not have considered.

Your point makes sense as well. I don't think OP's request is unreasonable at all. Maybe it was just the wording?
But the biggest thing is the question I asked previously. Will the dates be set, or do they change? And how frequently do they change?

Thanks everyone. I do appreciate the inputs. To answer the question, the dates change but are known a month or so in advance. So I don't think the situation is entirely amenable to her getting another job. (don't really see how two mornings a month would be even if they were set, but some are more resourceful than me, I'm sure!) I will approach it as pp has suggested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't start with this solution as it's very either/or. Instead I would present it as, "We really don't need you on these mornings, and we'd really like to add a date-night once in a while. We could move those hours to an evening sometime if you want to stay at 45, or we could cut the hours and hire an outside sitter if you really don't want to do evenings and would like those mornings off, or we could come up with some other tasks within those hours" (if that's something you're interested in).

I like the bolded part of this suggestion, but the second part about hiring and outside sitter rubs me the wrong way.

The big question is are the days the same every month? How far in advance will you know? While it's great to have mornings to make appointments, it won't do the nanny any good if she only knows month by month. My doctor's office books up fast.

I'm the PP. I see your point. My point is just that the MB should approach the nanny with this problem (We are paying you for time we don't need and there is another time we do need) and try to have more of a give and take. Maybe the nanny would rather come in on a Weekend morning while they have a brunch date, or maybe she truly would rather just not be paid for those hours if the alternative is to work another time. Be open to solutions you may not have considered.

Your point makes sense as well. I don't think OP's request is unreasonable at all. Maybe it was just the wording?
But the biggest thing is the question I asked previously. Will the dates be set, or do they change? And how frequently do they change?

MB did this to me, which was fine. But then she had no cover until noon on the days kids stayed home. I told her if you want me to be on call, I need to be PAID. I have a life and got a morning job to fill my morning. After two months of that, MB changed my schedule back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't start with this solution as it's very either/or. Instead I would present it as, "We really don't need you on these mornings, and we'd really like to add a date-night once in a while. We could move those hours to an evening sometime if you want to stay at 45, or we could cut the hours and hire an outside sitter if you really don't want to do evenings and would like those mornings off, or we could come up with some other tasks within those hours" (if that's something you're interested in).

I like the bolded part of this suggestion, but the second part about hiring and outside sitter rubs me the wrong way.

The big question is are the days the same every month? How far in advance will you know? While it's great to have mornings to make appointments, it won't do the nanny any good if she only knows month by month. My doctor's office books up fast.

I'm the PP. I see your point. My point is just that the MB should approach the nanny with this problem (We are paying you for time we don't need and there is another time we do need) and try to have more of a give and take. Maybe the nanny would rather come in on a Weekend morning while they have a brunch date, or maybe she truly would rather just not be paid for those hours if the alternative is to work another time. Be open to solutions you may not have considered.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't start with this solution as it's very either/or. Instead I would present it as, "We really don't need you on these mornings, and we'd really like to add a date-night once in a while. We could move those hours to an evening sometime if you want to stay at 45, or we could cut the hours and hire an outside sitter if you really don't want to do evenings and would like those mornings off, or we could come up with some other tasks within those hours" (if that's something you're interested in).

I like the bolded part of this suggestion, but the second part about hiring and outside sitter rubs me the wrong way.

The big question is are the days the same every month? How far in advance will you know? While it's great to have mornings to make appointments, it won't do the nanny any good if she only knows month by month. My doctor's office books up fast.

As a nanny I think your request is a fair one. As another pointed out you'll want to consider how you'll handle it if you all of a sudden need her during her regular hours on those days (illness, etc...).

Personally I would be happy to accommodate such a request because I love having random mornings to schedule appointments and such.

Oh, and ignore the over-the-top angry poster. You're clearly a employer who thinks things through and makes sure that your nanny is treated fairly. I wish all nanny employers were as thoughtful as you. (Thankfully my employers are as thoughtful and fair as you are)

It's a totally reasonable request. She would also be reasonable if she declined because she had other plans for her evenings.

I'd ignore the outraged PP above. She posts something like this on every thread here. Apparently, there something repulsive to her about hiring someone for a job caring for your kids.

I wouldn't start with this solution as it's very either/or. Instead I would present it as, "We really don't need you on these mornings, and we'd really like to add a date-night once in a while. We could move those hours to an evening sometime if you want to stay at 45, or we could cut the hours and hire an outside sitter if you really don't want to do evenings and would like those mornings off, or we could come up with some other tasks within those hours" (if that's something you're interested in).

It's totally fine to ask. She might say no, and she's not in the wrong neither. If you want, you can ask if you could lessen the hours and in effect pay, and see what she says.

Good point, pp, I appreciate the point about losing her guaranteed availability.

To the absurdly righteous nanny defending pp: really? I included all that extraneous information just to avoid going down this rabbit hole. We do pay her OT for all hours above 40. You might want to consider getting a grip.

Totally reasonable to request a shift of hours. However, make sure you're completely ok with losing the nanny's guaranteed availability in those earlier hours. If there's any reason you would want her definitely available during that time (sickness, snowday, school holiday, etc) then you might not want to do this. But it sounds like either you or DH is already with DC on those mornings, so if there were an issue you could just watch DC yourself.

Sure, it's reasonable to ask. Jobs change and evolve all the time. I'd do it soon, as the longer she has paid free time, the less attractive the hours shifting will seem.

No, it would not. She has a life, too, and she plans hdr life around her work hours. You are already screwing her by not paying her OT for the five extra hours she works. If you ask, you know that she will feel obligated to agree even though she probably doesn't want to. How would you feel if she asks to switch her hours for her convenience?

Do you understand that she is also a human being who deserves to be treated as though she is not on this earth to be at your beck and call?

I am not a nanny but it makes me furious when nannies are treated so poorly.

Sure, if she wants to do it.

We have had our nanny for 2 years and are overall pleased with the relationship. She is paid the same rate every wk for 45 hrs and gets additional overtime if she works before or after the set hours and gets 2 wks vacation and 5 sick days which she only uses when she really needs to so we don't really count. Started a preschool coop in September and have nanny attend with child on non parent duty days as child is still very young. (Its really more like a playgroup). Anyway, have been giving nanny off the duty day mornings 2x a month (paid). Would it be reasonable to ask her to work 12-8 those days (paid for 9 hrs) so we can start a regular date night? I know she will say yes, but I'd like to hear others thoughts on whether it is a reasonable request.