Yes, I would talk to them (or email them if that works better). But I don't think you have to apologize for your approach - a 20 minute break to relax is fine. They might not know that you have an organized reasonable approach so a quick chat could easily clear the air on both sides.

I don't think it's too late at all - you're still developing your relationship with them. I would appreciate my nanny being considerate and responsive in this kind of circumstance.

IMO, I think the children should be allowed to spend their downtime doing things that they like/want. It's not really "downtime" if they're restricted in what they can do (i.e. only "educational" activities). They've just spent the better part of their day in an educational environment and, in 30 min. or so, will spend a few more hours on strictly educational homework.

I, instead, would email MB and DB saying something along these lines:

"When the children arrive home from school, I allow them to have a 30 minute break before they start their homework. During this time, I think it's integral that they unwind by engaging in reasonable activities that they enjoy. They often like to do X, Y, and Z. While I understand that these activities aren't really geared towards their education, I believe it allows them to effectively decompress, and give their minds a well needed rest before they begin their homework.

Now, if you'd like, I can of course encourage them to engage in educational activities during this time, but I believe they benefit more from spending this time freely as they choose. So, would you like me to encourage them to engage in educational activities during this time, or can I still allow them to spend their break freely?"

I'm sure they'll appreciate your imitative to keep them informed no matter what route you take.

Do the research. Kids require some unstructured down time every day. Most aren't getting it. DB should do some learning to.

Anonymous wrote:I think you should just ask one of the parents in person - "I noticed when DB was here last week he was directing DD to the educational games - should we be using those every day, or do the kids have some flexibility in how they spend that down time?" Easy peasy.

OP here, thanks! I like that wording. MB is the parent that I see every day. However there is a bit of a language barrier and she tends to understand better in writing. So in this case is it justified to send her (or both of them) an email?

I think you should just ask one of the parents in person - "I noticed when DB was here last week he was directing DD to the educational games - should we be using those every day, or do the kids have some flexibility in how they spend that down time?" Easy peasy.

My charges are 8 and 10 and I've been with the family for 4 months. I'm with them every day after school into the evening. I allow them to have 20-30 minutes of free time when we get home from school, before we start homework. Usually they'll just play with their dog or the 10 year old will show us a couple funny Youtube videos, etc. They like to wind down after school and they get really stressed out if they have to go straight into homework (they both have tons of homework so I completely understand this. Everyone needs a break!)

Is it too late for me to ask MB and DB if they have any kind of preferences as to what the girls do during their down time with me? I ask this because I usually just err on the side of letting them do whatever they want to wind down as long as it's not dangerous/doesn't involve hurting each other/isn't loud and annoying/doesn't involve eating sweets and junk food. But recently I brought the girls home and DB was there because he had chosen to work from home that day, and we come in and the kids relax, the older one starts to look through a magazine and the younger one gets on the computer to play Minecraft for 20 mins. They know how long the break is and they're very good about getting into homework mode when break is over.

DB was peering at what they're doing and he comes up to 8 year old charge, takes away the computer and says "you need to do something educational right now" and redirects her to an educational game, and then walks away. Obviously that's totally fine, he is her father and if he prefers for her to play an educational game then good on him! But this expectation was never made clear to me. Now I'm not sure if I need to start enforcing a "you can only do educational things during your break" rule with the girls or not because DB never talked to me about it and he's never available for me to ask him about it. MB doesn't seem to care what the kids do as long as their homework gets done at a reasonable hour.

So what do you all think? I'm 4 months into this gig; if I sent MB and DB an email saying, "I just want to clarify whether you would both prefer the girls to be doing educational activities during all of their downtime with me or if it's okay with you if they play games, call a friend, etc" would it be too little too late? Would it seem like I had been letting their kids slack off this entire time, or do you think they would appreciate that I took the initiative to check with them about what they prefer for their kids?