The instability issue scares me. Any more advice about that?

I definitely think an au pair can handle this, but I think they are going to take their direction from you. Are you tough with your toddlers and enforce the rules? Will you back them up when they do? If so, I think they will do fine.

I often see posts about APs being children. We never get APs that are under 21. Helps with drinking issues but also they are typicall more mature.

Good to know, thanks!

I've also heard good things about the extaordinaire au pairs from Guatemala, if you are interested in Spanish speaking.

OP here. Thank you to all. We speak English and Spanish at home so I'll try to find a an Extraordinaire from Spain or alternatively a German/Austrian one. I've read several posts about great experiences with them and for the language issue.

I've done this 4 times with toddler/pre-school aged kids. The first au pair did not work out. The other three did (and they were GREAT).

Au pair #1 (who didn't work out) was from a less-developed country, and had what I consider to be more "typical" au pair type experience (babysitting, a few child dev. classes). She was a poor driver, and she really didn't have the well developed "tool box" of skills to deal with young kids.

Au pairs #2 and 3 were from Germany and Austria. Both were "extraordinaire" and both had worked in a daycare setting with toddler/preschool aged kids. One was 20 and one was 25. Both were fabulous and had 1-2 years of experience working FULL TIME in a daycare. They had lots of first hand experience working with lots of types of little kids, and clearly had their bag of tricks to get kids to be cooperative, and help them grow. Also their English was VERY good (which can be really helpful with 2-3 year olds, where communication is still difficult).

Au pair #4 was from Korea. She should've/could've been "extraordinaire" - I don't know why she wasn't. She also had 2 years of experience at a daycare. She knows what it takes to care for little kids full time, and she is great. I think because of some minor language difficulties and some cultural differences, we've had to work through more issues together. Even though she knows and understands kids, it wasn't easy for her at first to have the same "in command" persona as the Europeans did. But she really has been great -- we just needed to work with her a bit more on some issues. Sometimes, when a very firm and commanding voice was needed, it wasn't coming across to the kids. Not because she didn't have the skills, but simply because she didn't have the ENGLISH. The kids picked up on the slight pauses in her speech, and (incorrectly) perceived it to be a lack of determination on her part.

Good luck. I think especially the Extraordinaires often have great experience for dealing with 2-4 year olds.

We had an Au pair extraordinaire and she was fabulous. 24yrs old, mature, had oodles of experience with babies as a nanny in Germany, a college degree in education and experience teaching toddlers and preschool, including bilingual (English/German) and special needs. They are out there but it takes much longer to find so give yourself plenty of lead time. Also, these Au pairs know they have the upper hand in choosing families, so think about what you have to offer to make your family an attractive match. GL

I disagree.

The AP Extraordinaire program might be good for you. It has APs that have special dedicated childcare experience. They have to have extra education, or real world child care/teaching experience, or were an AP before.

I think if you screen well and look for more experience than just babysitting, you'll find someone that works out.

OP I think you'll find that experiences with APs are a mixed bag, but I would lean toward no - the majority of APs are young and inexperienced and will not be bringing any special tricks or abilities to managing a 2YO and 4YO. This isn't to say none of them could do it, but a live-in nanny who drives would probably be a stronger choice if you're looking for someone to help manage the discipline of the 2YO.

OP here. We want to switch to AP for cost reasons as well as fact that starting September we will need someone who drives and our nanny doesn't. I'm inclined to go with the au pair extraordinaire program but still thought I could get feedback from people who have been through this before.

20:33, What's your point?

PP who suggested a teacher. Aupairs don't come here for the money. Majority come to experience living in the US. I highly doubt a teacher in Brazil or Germany is making as much as a teacher here does. FYI, most nannies in the US make more than a first or second year teacher right out of college.

Why would a teacher want au pair low wages? Makes no sense to me. Keep the nanny and reduce expenses elsewhere.

Why replace the nanny if she is great with your kids? If it's for financial reasons, I could understand the need for a change. Aupairs are all different just like nannies and they all have experience with children of different ages. I would probably try to find an older and more mature aupair that has childcare experience, possibly a teacher or daycare worker. If you bring in an 18 year old aupair, chances are she will have no experience with handling the terrible twos.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old in the midst of the terrible twos. I'm really interested in switching from our current nanny to an au pair but I'm concerned about whether au pairs have enough childcare experience to know how to manage and properly discipline a stubborn toddler. Our nanny is a genius with kids and has infinite patience. Not sure I can expect anything close from an au pair. I'd love ot hear from BTDT parents. Thanks.