Your friend asked questions that got your nanny to become "defensive" yet your nanny doesn't mind playdates but your friend does? That's kinda odd.. Ofcourse theres more to this story but from what I've gathered, I'd let it go and find other kids that can join in on playdates.

There personalities don't 'mesh' so don't force it, nothing good will come out of that. I'm sure the nanny can find someone she enjoys playdates with and vice versa.

Your nanny has a right to keep her personal business to herself because it's a well-known fact that friends of MBs tend to ask such questions, so that they can go back to MB and gossip about the nanny. Don't force it any longer. You are giving your nanny reason to quit if you do force it.

What did your friend ask her?

I have a friend like yours who likes to ask nosy questions. She also thinks that household employees should have the "right" attitude, meaning that they should obey her without complaining. I also have an excellent nanny who is private about personal affairs and doesn't mesh well with my friend. So I keep them apart! No brainer, OP.

You and your friend are the rude ones.. Well mannered people, FYI, do not ask personal questions of people they do not know. In fact, be careful of the personal questions you ask of family and good friends.

I wouldn't push it. Your child has other play mates so your child will not go without some kind of peer interaction. If you really want your child and your friends child to play together then do it on your time off.

MB here. I wouldn't expect my nanny to hang out w/ a personal friend of mine. I wouldn't expect them to have much in common, and I would think my nanny would see my friend potentially as some sort of potential spy, etc... (At least I imagine that's how I would feel if I were the nanny. I'd be wondering if you didn't trust me and were using the friend to check up on me.)

It just sounds like a really unfair thing to ask of your nanny and it sounds like she's been really gracious.

It also sounds to me as though your friend has made the nanny feel uncomfortable with her questioning. Honestly I think you owe your nanny an apology and your friend should only come over when you're there.

Your nanny has a right to say no to any personal questions and she doesn't even have to talk to your friend if she doesn't want too. as long as she is polite and is doing her job then your friend needs to 1. only schedule with you 2. find another friend to do playdates with.

You cannot force your nanny to like your friend.

she's your friend, not nanny's. Save the playdates for your time. Problem solved. Everyone doesn't get along with everyone. I'd let it go as it's your friend's fault for asking a personal question in the first place.

Hi. I am a PT mom with one child. I love our nanny, she is amazing with DD, couldn't have asked for a better nanny! A friend of mine whom, I can't always get together with for play dates, meets its nanny. I thought nothing of them meeting to have a play date, as its about the children. I noticed my friend slowly bu definitely has stopped agreeing to play dates if my nanny is working. She admired to me, my nanny can be annoying and when my friend asked her a couple of questions, more personal them work related, my nanny became defensive and she said it was awkward from there. My nanny is amazing with DD but she does have an authoritative demeanor. My friend I think might be intimidated by her, she's kinda meek. Should I talk with my nanny about the dynamic of their relationship? I don't want play dates to stop when I'm not there just because they don't mesh. They can be civil. DD does have other playmates but my friend is a good friend, and I don't want to get caught in the middle. I don't want my friend to think I just let my nanny make people feel insecure, defensive. I don't. My nanny is kinda old fashioned and stern and more in lines of thinking certain questions, you don't just ask as its a private matter. Wat do I say? Help! My nanny, doesn't seem to mind my friend but don't go out of her way to praise her either. She keeps anything negative about friend, to herself.