As evidenced by op's experience, it's often a big mistake for nanny and mb to spend too much time together with the child. Child gets confused with whose rules are in force, nanny's or mommy's.

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to the nanny world.

OP here. I've been a nanny for 6 years, with three families, and this is my third 4-year-old girl. I have never encountered this before.

Ok, in spite of the fact that the parent doesn't much want to behave as the parent, you need to pick up the slack, and keep doing the right, as you have. Until of course, you're done with it. Sure, it's usually worth having "the talk" with the parents, just in case that might help.

Welcome to the nanny world.

The 4-year-old girl i care for has recently decided she doesn't like me. I think in large part it is pushback because I am a lot more strict than MB. In theory we are on the same page (limit tv, treats only on occasion, tantrum=time out, the usual stuff) but in practice, it seems that MB regards every occasion as an exception to the rule, so I'm the only one who actually enforces the real rule (dB not inthe picture). I could switch my approach to be more like MB, but A) I truly believe that most of these boundaries are there for a reason, and B) I know that MB likes having these rules (at least when I'm in charge). Do I just ignore the behavior? Talk to MB about finding rules we can all agree to enforce? Quit? I have been with this girl for 2.5 years, and I see as much or more of her than MB during waking hours, so it's not like we just haven't bonded yet. This is a recent issue.