Hello! I am considering becoming a career nanny, and would like some friendly feedback from moms and dads who hire nannies. I am in my early 30s, am married, and have a child of my own. I have a graduate degree and a long, successful work history, including working with children and youth. My motivation for considering a nanny career is my love of children, and desire to spend more time with my own child. My spouse makes enough money to support both of us, thus I'd be doing this job mostly for the satisfaction of working with children, not for the salary.

OP if your degree is in education you should look into special education, tutoring, speech or occupational therapies or para educating services. These are positions that you can do part time once your child is in preschool or school. If you can find a part time sitter you can also do them when your child is an infant.

There really isn't such thing as a career nanny. Its just not a job that grows over time so doing it for job satisfaction may work in the short term but it will not last. Nanny positions end and start over too often for real job growth. Most nanny positions are also more nanny/housekeeping jobs. If you love cleaning this is great but don't delude yourself that being a nanny means only working with children. You are a domestic household employee. Nanny positions also don't help you on your resumer at all. Even though you would make less at a daycare, a daycare position is more helpful on a resume than a nanny job which is often seen more as a babysitter. A nanny job is great job for people who are great with kids but can't qualify for any other work or people who are doing for a few years to get through school/save money. If you have other options, you should take them.

OP, if you do end up bringing your child with you in the future be prepared to discount your rate but not to that of a true nanny share. That is unless the person you enter the agreement with intends to treat you as their share partner and that the needs of both children and families will be considered equally in all scenarios of the share. My guess is that your potential employer would prefer to call the shots and want your child and family to bend to their needs. There is nothing wrong with this, but it is not a true nanny share and warrants a higher rate than $9/hour, say $11/hour.

I am a lesbian, and my partner and I are going through the IUI process in Oct 2013. I would definitely consider this arrangement if the price was right. I feel that you might want to consider watching a small group of children (2-3) out of your home if you are looking for a little bit of extra money. In your home, I would expect to pay $200 a week. As a nanny arrangement, I probably would not consider this because I wouldn't be able to afford a nanny.

What city do you live in? If you are in DC or Arlington I feel you would have a much easier time finding a family open to this arrangement.

Let me know if you start an in-home daycare, as I would definitely be interested.

I would not care if you are a lesbian as long as you don't care I am not. Neither would my husband.

I would not care about the lack of nanny experience vs. parenting experience as I value the been there done that parenting over nanny experience as its far easier to parent for 8-10 hours a day vs. 24/7 (having been a babysitter, nanny, worked at day cares and SAHM).

I would consider it a nanny share and would not be willing to pay full-price for you to bring your child. Very few jobs allow it so it is a perk for you as otherwise you'd need child care. Personally, I'd prefer not, mainly as it causes huge wear and tear on my home and if your child is not careful/easy going, we'd go through a lot of toys, ruin the floors, etc (our experience with hosting play dates).

If you want to, go for it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many threads here have detailed, there is no advantage for the employer, only the nanny, to allowing her to bring a child to work.

I don't think that is true.

Yes, there is a greater advantage for the nanny, but there can be a very inherent benefit in your child having a built-in playmate to learn cooperation and expand imaginary play with, as well as in teaching both greater patience and ability to share in both material goods and attention (think about the classic "only child" and then think about the average "second child" - by having two unrelated children share a nanny you get the best of both outcomes and the worst of neither. Like second children they will be less self-centered and better able to tolerate other people sometimes taking priority over them, but like only children will have their parents' full attention in the evenings outside the share, a built-in time for the sophisticated relationship building that so often propels only children to worldly success). Along with financial reasons, this is a central reason for using a nanny share, although there you will hear about it as the nanny vs. daycare debate (the primary nanny-con being less opportunity for the child's socialization).

Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting the advantages are equal - in this scenario, the benefit to the nanny is greater - but in a situation where the nanny was bringing her own child of a similar age (presumably pre-elementary school), there can be a benefit for the other child (and, by extension, her parents) as well.

I absolutely agree with this - you have listed the benefits of a nanny share. Another benefit is about half the cost of a nanny. So if you were going to pay $15/hour just for your one child, then maybe $17-18 total for the share or say, $9/hour per family. The issue is that nannies who want to bring their own children don't want to treat it like a share in terms of income. They want to reduce the rate a dollar or two if even (see previous thread about the nanny and her husband who felt insulted that the mom asked for a rate decrease if the nanny started bringing the baby).

The question is not who this scenario benefits, the question to me is why should I pay more for what is inherently a nanny share from my perspective just because the other child happens to belong to the nanny.

I can see if you had a nanny that you loved and that had a similar aged child not asking for a huge decrease. But if I was seeking out a nanny or a nanny share, I would want nanny share costs (as that is one of the reasons people do nanny shares in the first place).

I was a nanny for many years and although I am now in a different field I still babysit on the side.

I am gay and it was only an issue for one family. The Mom said she was ok with it, (I think I told her after I had been there a couple of times) The problem was she didnt want the kids, 8yo twins to know. It got very hard with kids that age to keep it quiet. The would ask me if I was married, who I lived with etc.
The Mom said it would be too confusing for them at such a young age.

I don't think you have to share it in the interview if you are a private person. If you are the type of person who shares your own values and beliefs though and care for an older child I think you should mention it. You dont want to have to keep it secret from the kids when you take about yourself.

Good luck OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many threads here have detailed, there is no advantage for the employer, only the nanny, to allowing her to bring a child to work.

I don't think that is true.

Yes, there is a greater advantage for the nanny, but there can be a very inherent benefit in your child having a built-in playmate to learn cooperation and expand imaginary play with, as well as in teaching both greater patience and ability to share in both material goods and attention (think about the classic "only child" and then think about the average "second child" - by having two unrelated children share a nanny you get the best of both outcomes and the worst of neither. Like second children they will be less self-centered and better able to tolerate other people sometimes taking priority over them, but like only children will have their parents' full attention in the evenings outside the share, a built-in time for the sophisticated relationship building that so often propels only children to worldly success). Along with financial reasons, this is a central reason for using a nanny share, although there you will hear about it as the nanny vs. daycare debate (the primary nanny-con being less opportunity for the child's socialization).

Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting the advantages are equal - in this scenario, the benefit to the nanny is greater - but in a situation where the nanny was bringing her own child of a similar age (presumably pre-elementary school), there can be a benefit for the other child (and, by extension, her parents) as well.

If you read what the PP wrote, she said that if she was looking for a share that she would consider it, but if you are not looking for a share then that means you are most likely not interested in the "advantages" to the MB that you listed above.

You don't need another child there with the nanny to have as a playmate or any of the other things. You can easily go to socialization classes, other groups, set up playdates, and then there is a good chance that the family might have other children as well. There are many "only children" out there that learn these skills without having another child being taken care of with them, all day long. So these are not really that beneficial to the MB if these skills can be done in other ways as well, with her still having a nanny focusing totally on her child.

Anonymous wrote:As many threads here have detailed, there is no advantage for the employer, only the nanny, to allowing her to bring a child to work.

I don't think that is true.

Yes, there is a greater advantage for the nanny, but there can be a very inherent benefit in your child having a built-in playmate to learn cooperation and expand imaginary play with, as well as in teaching both greater patience and ability to share in both material goods and attention (think about the classic "only child" and then think about the average "second child" - by having two unrelated children share a nanny you get the best of both outcomes and the worst of neither. Like second children they will be less self-centered and better able to tolerate other people sometimes taking priority over them, but like only children will have their parents' full attention in the evenings outside the share, a built-in time for the sophisticated relationship building that so often propels only children to worldly success). Along with financial reasons, this is a central reason for using a nanny share, although there you will hear about it as the nanny vs. daycare debate (the primary nanny-con being less opportunity for the child's socialization).

Just to reiterate, I am not suggesting the advantages are equal - in this scenario, the benefit to the nanny is greater - but in a situation where the nanny was bringing her own child of a similar age (presumably pre-elementary school), there can be a benefit for the other child (and, by extension, her parents) as well.

I would not have any problem hiring a nanny who was a lesbian and I would not have any problem discussing her family openly with my DD if she wished. Our families are our families, equal and equivalent, and we would want her to be perfectly comfortable with us and know that we are perfectly comfortable with her and her family.

I would also likely hire a nanny in her 30s with experience with children but not necessarily as a nanny, especially if that nanny had coursework in ECE and CPR certifications, which tells me she has taken steps to be educated in the place of experience.

But, bringing your child would be a problem for me. Yes, I would be concerned about the attention issue, and that would be magnified if your child's nap and eating schedule were substantially different than my child's. But there are additional issues. There is liability to consider, for one thing, and I might need more insurance to allow your child to be cared for in my home. There are also illness issues. Compatibility issues with the kids. Wear and tear on my house from an extra kid in the house. Fear that if your child is having any issue, from teething to a cranky day, that you will be attending that child to the exclusion of mine. If I am paying a nanny full rate, I expect her to be fully attentive to my child.

That said, if I were someone looking for a nanny share, I would consider this arrangement with the understanding that I was sharing a nanny. Here in DC, I might pay you $15/hr to care for my child as a full time nanny, but if you brought your child, we would be in a nanny share and I would pay no more than $9/hr. ( If I pay $9/hr and the nanny, the other share partner, pays $9/hr, then the nanny makes $18/hr, a fair rate for two kids.)

If I wasn't looking for a nanny share, though, I'd likely pass on hiring you. As many threads here have detailed, there is no advantage for the employer, only the nanny, to allowing her to bring a child to work.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:2) I would have no problem with hiring a lesbian nanny and her openly discussing her family with my children. I would be a bit put off if she didn't mention it in the interview

Keeping it classy, I see.

Agree with the previous two on bringing along your child. That, combined with a lack of experience would make for a really low salary. I would feel like you had enough experience "working with children" and with your own child that I would feel like my kids were safe, but I would expect a big learning curve on the how to be a good nanny stuff. I would also wonder why you were really doing this and how long it would work for you (e.g. Are you just trying this out and three months in going to decide you don't really like it?).

I wouldn't care in the least if you were a lesbian and wouldn't care whether or not you told me in the interview or later or never. It would be a total non-issue.

MB here, and to answer your questions:

1) I would only consider allowing a nanny to bring along a child if the child was close in age to mine. If it was an infant, I would not consider it a benefit and would only do it for a significant discount. So if a nanny for one child was $15/hr and a nanny share is was $10/hr (per family), I wouldn't pay more than $12/hr for a nanny bringing her infant. If my child and the nanny's child were 2+, I would see more of an advantage and expect less of a discount.

2) I would have no problem with hiring a lesbian nanny and her openly discussing her family with my children. I would be a bit put off if she didn't mention it in the interview

3) It would depend on what the experience was - if it was full time preschool or daycare teacher, I would be open to hiring her. If it was occasional babysitting, camp counselor, working with older kids, etc., I would be hesitant.

I'm a lesbian nanny and I have only worked for one family whom it would have been an issue for. I typically do not disclose this during the interview process because I don't feel it's important

The first point has been discussed ad nauseum on this board. The consensus seems to be that a nanny bringing her own child should come with a significant discount to the family. Since you say your spouse makes enough to support you, this shouldn't be too much of an issue.

I have no experience with the rest of your concerns (I'm a nanny not an MB) so I can't help you there.

Though I do wonder, if your main goal is getting to spend more time with your child, perhaps starting an in-home day care might work better for you? Your various other experiences with children might count for more in that type of situation vs. nannying.

Hello! I am considering becoming a career nanny, and would like some friendly feedback from moms and dads who hire nannies. I am in my early 30s, am married, and have a child of my own. I have a graduate degree and a long, successful work history, including working with children and youth. My motivation for considering a nanny career is my love of children, and desire to spend more time with my own child. My spouse makes enough money to support both of us, thus I'd be doing this job mostly for the satisfaction of working with children, not for the salary.

My main question is whether or not any families would be open to hiring a nanny who brings their own child/children to your house to be watched along with your children. I understand that many families would not prefer this arrangement, and that is fine, and very understandable if you want your children to have the full attention of their nanny, or if there is concern about germ sharing and sickness related concerns. Yet I'm wondering if there are families out there that might like (or at least accept) this arrangement, for example, in providing a regular playmate for an only child.

Another question: would you be open to a lesbian nanny? I am a lesbian, have a female spouse, and while I realize that DC is a pretty liberal city, I wonder how many families might rule out a non-heterosexual nanny.

And my last question: would you consider hiring a live-out nanny with no nanny experience, but lots of experience working with children, including their own child?

Thank you! Again, please keep it friendly, I appreciate it.