We approach it in matching as a little handbook executive summary - here is what we offer (monetarily, car use, what's the room like, what we pay for for food, etc, we are fun and inclusive and embrace the part if the family thing wholeheartedly) here is what we expect in exchange (hours, schedule, any flexibility, great driver, engaged with kids, wants to be part if the family)

Basically like a job description. Here are the duties, here is the salary and benefits package.

Then au pairs can decide whether it's what they're looking for or not and we've all tacitly agreed to the expectations when both parties decide to match.

Anonymous wrote:I would also estimate about $23,0000-25000. Don't forget you pay for school, extra food, extra gas, insurance, Christmas and birthday presents, extra travel expenses if they travel with the family, etc.

I'm the PP at 11:30. Just want to keep it clear that you are only required to pay for $500 for the education cost. I guess maybe there are families that pay more, but none of our au pairs have expected us to. That's one of the things you could clear up in matching if you we're concerned about it. And all of my au pairs have managed to fulfill the education requirement for under $600, so it can be done.

Food is another one that you have a little flexibility on. I think some host families give their au pairs a credit card for food and literally pay for anything, which is above the requirement and again, which none of our au pairs have expected. We keep her favorite foods in the house, told her to write whatever she wants down on the grocery list, welcome her to eat anything in the house, and pay when we are all out together whether its dinner out of a Starbucks run. Anything beyond that, like if she goes out with friends or wants to go to the grocery store for some speciality item when she's not with us is on her.

Same with gas - most host families pay for gas as related to trips for the kids or au pair meetings. Au pairs are usually responsible for anything beyond that.

All these things need to be made clear in your handbook, which is why I told the other poster who asked "how do you know if an ap is right for you" to think about every little detail and decide what will work for you. E d. Though there are requirements, there is flexibility within those and you have to get your expectations out there clearly so you don't have a clash with the au pair's expectations of how things should be.

I would also estimate about $23,0000-25000. Don't forget you pay for school, extra food, extra gas, insurance, Christmas and birthday presents, extra travel expenses if they travel with the family, etc.

Glad you found it helpful. We also have my youngest in 5-day a week morning preschool, which runs an additions $1,100/month. So we're at over $3,000/month for child care. It sucks, but in two years, he'll be in school too, so then we'll just have the au pair. The other thing is that a lot of the au pair cost is up front (agency fee, furniture/linens, drivers license and insurance), so you're actually only paying out about $1,000/month after you dump like $10,000 at once.

They should tell you all this before you decide to have kids lol

Wow PP that was very helpful.

For my two children in dayare/after school care I am paying $23000/yr, excluding some fees and extras.

However, someone like myself who has a 3yr old also has to consider preschool costs with an AP. I will still need him in a half day preschool program durning the year and that will cost me approx $5200/yr.

There have been lots of discussions on this in the old nanny forum, so I'd suggest you search there too, but here's a quick breakdown for us anyway. The absolute minimum requirements are the agency fee, the travel fee, the selection or match fee, the stipend, the education amount, transportation to and from and the cost of monthly au pair meetings, a set up room, and all food costs. I would argue that cell phone is required too, but it's not explicitly required. Below are some breakdowns in terms of cost of different agencies. We're with Cultural Care, so I'm using those numbers.

I'd estimate it costs us about $23,000/year since we take one vacation during the year that we bring her on ($20,000 for minimum requirements plus car usage plus trips/activities/eating out/etc). Our au pair works about 25 hours/week for 49 weeks out of the year (51 weeks living with you minus two weeks of vacation), so that works out to over $18/hour, which seems like a lot for someone with as little education and experience as she has, nevermind that we're also providing her with housing and spending tons of time on guidance throughout the year. If we used her the full 45 hours/week, that would be a little over $10/hour, which I think would actually be a good market rate for her education/experience/need for hand-holding and considering she's technically a live-in. But we love the flexibility (could never find a nanny to do only morning drop-off, afternoon pick-up and date nights) and we love the relationship that we have with her, so we think it's worth it. Here's the breakdown:


Absolute Bare Minimum - $7,390 initial fee (we paid this much with the discounts at the time, could vary) + $200/week stipend for 51 weeks + $500 education stipend + $20/month for the meetings (ours are usually activities that we have to pay for, could vary) + $100/month for food + $20/month for phone = $19,770 annually

If you have her drive, you'll cover the cost to get a license, the cost of insurance, and any deductibles for accidents she is in while on duty - $85/year (driver's license fees in Maryland anyway), $100-600/year (approximate cost of insurance, I'll use $200 as a midpoint), $500 deductible (assuming one accident, because I've rarely heard of an au pair who didn't have at least one) = $785/year

Other Considerations if you truly want every dollar counted (I didn't count these in my total except for the trip):* Assuming you have to buy furniture/towels/sheets/curtains/pillows for her room, that could run you some money at least for your first au pair
* Little things you'd never consider like now that someone is home all day, we run the AC and heat all day whereas before we had it off most of the day since we were gone
* If you take her on any trips or do any family activities, you cover the cost of airfare, tickets, food, hotel, etc. - for one vacation depending on where you go, it can get expensive
* If you're a family that eats out frequently, she will expect to go with you or to get an order if you order in, so that could increase food costs
* She can only work 45 hours a week, 10 hours a day and gets two weeks vacation and at least one weekend off each month - so childcare coverage costs for when she is off duty
* Consider how much you'll spend on gifts and/or bonuses during the year, especially over the holidays and birthdays, we have spent about as much as we would on our own kids


Cultural Care: $7,965 total
Registration fee - $75 per year
Selection fee - $175 per year
Program fee - $7,595 per year
Transportation fee - about $120 for DC area per year

Au Pair in America: - $8,345 total
Application fee - $350
Program fee - $7,495 per year (going up to $7,795 in 2013)
Match fee - $400 per year
Transportation from training center - about $100 to DC area

Au Pair Care - $8,395 total:
Program fee - $7,850
Application fee - $50 (normally $350)
Domestic processing fee - $35
Domestic airfare from training center - $460 to National airport

I know there are up front fees and a weekly $195 stipend, but there have to be add'l costs of having someone in your home, car insurance, add'l gas, food, education, vacations, etc.

What do you really think you are paying for your au pair? Its so hard to compare it to other child care options without knowing the true cost.