Reply to "Nanny as Parent" phenomenon

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nannies do not perform most of the tasks of parenting, so your insult is logically flawed.[/quote]
How do you perform your parenting tasks if you're (supposed to) doing office work 40-50+ hours a week?

Oh, I know! You're shopping Hanna's online, at the office.
[/quote]
Smart parents understand that a 
long-term devoted nanny is a parenting partner.[/quote]

Smart parents know how they want to parent and they hire a nanny who will support the parent's approach, philosophy, guidelines, etc...

Smart parents are confident in their own parenting and status as parents and don't at all see the nanny as a parent.  The nanny is a critical partner, absolutely.  But the nanny is an employee whose job it is to care for the kid(s) as the parents see fit.[/quote]
They know what they know, based on what? Girlfriend tales of woe at the office? Any actual experience? Because that's what really matters if you want to do something to the best of your ability.

After all, those who are most successful in your profession, weren't born knowing everything they know. They gradually gained their confidence with experience and knowledgeable guidance. I know parents who prefer to do the same.[/quote]
Every family has a vision of values and skills with which they'd like to raise their kids.  Nannies can lend their expertise to some decisions but not others.  The "others" group does not require experience; it just requires that the family decides how they'd like to raise their children.

I am happy to let the nanny weigh in on potty training, starting solid, developmental milestones, naptimes etc.

[b]Other things we will decide on without her input, such as how conservatively we want to dress our children, how and if we will integrate religion into their lives, whether we want them to take French or Spanish or any language at all, whether they take swimming or soccer or any sport at all, whether they go to a single-sex or coed school etc. Those decisions do not require guidance from nannies.  They belong to the parents.[/b][/quote]

Hmmm.  Ok, I'll bite.  I'm the one who picks out kids' clothes, and I decide whether the clothing is appropriate, not the parents.  I'm the one that signed the children up for classes, I picked the classes or had the children help pick them; parents weren't involved.  I'm the one that decided it was time to cut the girl's hair so that she could have her tonsils out; the parents asked when I'd had it done... 2 months later.  I have recommended preschools, elementary schools, private schools, and I've solicited the information packets for the parents; they told me to choose what I thought was best and they would make it so.  Out of your whole list, the only thing that I didn't decide: religion.  That was the grandparents, not the parents.[/quote]
If this is your arrangement, I find parents like this an exception, not the rule.  No parents in our circle would leave these decisions to non-family members.  Your employers must be unusually hands-off.

Do you buy the kids' clothes? Or do you pick them out of what parents selected and bought?[/quote]

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