Reply to Being forgotten as the most important figure in a babies life. How to deal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a nanny and I hate this part of my job in knowing that after a year I will be forgotten by the children that I have watched for over 40 hours a week, loved and spoiled. I will not see them grow up, go through their firsts or anything else.  :(  I feel like a third parent that is ripped away from her child when I leave the family. I feel as if the children are my own children and I am getting majorly depressed as the days fly by and my time with them slips away.  I wish they had nanny visiting rights but I am thinking of asking the parents if I can still visit with them and maybe take them on vacations with me. My heart hearts and I spent the weekend in bed crying when I realized I had only a year or so left. How do others nannies deal with this feeling? I know my time is almost up with them as they are going off to school and I hate to think of joining another family and opening up my heart seems an invitation for more pain and disappointment. [/quote]
You'll have to deal with this. You are not the most important figure in that baby's life.  Important, yes, but not the most important.  That baby will grow up without knowing who you were, and that's totally normal.  You'll move on and find other jobs and other kids.  I may also suggest that you find ways to fill your life with meaningful things that aren't child-related because the way you feel about your charges crosses boundaries.  [/quote]

I disagree. It is NOT "normal" to grow up never knowing who served as your primary caregiver early in your life. You may convince yourself that person was insignificant, but the rest of us know, how that person laid the foundation of who you are today.
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There is no "rest of us." It's just you.

I already explained that as far as I am concerned, my primary caregiver was my mother. Everyone else's job was to help when she wasn't available.

I didn't say that person was insignificant.  They just aren't permanent.  A surgeon who performs heart surgery is significant. A nurse who stands by in L&D is significant. Their contributions are great - in the moment. Then the moment passes and everyone moves on.  They find other things to focus on, and they aren't in bed crying because I am not there any more.  [/quote]

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