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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would honestly just rematch.  This seems like a big personality mis-match and I guarantee there are MANY au pairs out there who would love to go skiing most weekends.  Hell, I'll be your au pair if you pay for me to ski on the weekends!!!

The not putting the cup away is a MAJOR red flag for me.  We had a nanny for a year before we started the Au Pair program and she did this all the time.  She would rinse (not wash) any dishes that she and my daughter used but flat refused to do any "housework". If we left a coffee cup out or a wine glass from the evening before she wouldn't rinse those and it probably took more effort to move them to the side and not rinse them just to make a point.

We also had an au pair who wouldn't put things away that she hadn't used (from the dishwasher).  It was really a bit of a disaster and ended in rematch.  If you're going to be petty, you're not a good fit for our family.[/quote]

OP is not being paid to ski though, most of the time they spend in the country house is during AP's free time. It would be the equivalent of your boss asking you to spend the weekend in an out of state office meaning you can't spend the time with your family but are only needed to work 3 hours during the whole weekend (and will only be paid for those 3 hours) yet you can't leave the office. It's AP giving up her free time so OP can feel like she has control over her AP.

The cleaning parents dishes/cups/glasses, is NOT a nanny or AP job, sure it's petty of someone not to wash it when they are cleaning up everything else but it's also incredibly disrespectful to NOT clean after yourself. How much work is it to put your own cup in the dishwasher after you are done? You would probably be complaining on here if your AP left cups for you to clean every evening, she is not wrong for not wanting to clean up after your mess and you wouldn't be wrong for not wanting to clean up after hers.

Families who use the ''it's part of being a part of our family'' to make APs do things they don't do themselves or expect her to tolerate things they wouldn't tolerate from their AP is massive piss taking imo.

[/quote]

Not OP. By this standard, you could also compare this situation to her being a salaried employee going to a conference once/month on the weekend for her employer. She won't get pay travel time. She won't get pay over time. She gets pay the same salary. Employer pays for her meals and hotels. That is it. You don't get to see your family during that time. Of course if your job requires you to be at the a weekend conference every week of the month, it becomes a problem but that is the same analogy. Of course PP is going to say it is not the same thing. Like AP is part of the family unless the family is doing something AP don't like... Then AP is an employee until the employer is doing something AP don't like...

According to some people on this forum (probably the reader who has never been a HM nor an AP), you should treat your AP better than your family member, better than your employee and better than yourself. There is no exceptional circumstance. They should be on that high pedestal all the time.[/quote]

Other poster, but it is not the same thing because an employee can refuse to spend unpaid time off doing work without fearing to lose their home or legal status in the country, AP don't have that freedom because like you can see, the first minute they say no (some) hf seem to begrudge them for it and are already thinking about rematch.

If you are going to compare an AP to an employee at least stick to the law. Legally the AP should work no more than 10 hours a day and have 1 and half consecutive day off. Her free time should be hers to do as she pleases, which she obviously can't do if she is expected to be somewhere in the middle of nowhere with the host family where she has no other choice but to stay with the hf.

Most employers also don't live with their boss so the analogy would work better if the salaried employee in your scenario lived at the office working until 8:30pm everyday (limiting her social life to start with) and was on top of it all expected to give up two of her days off for free twice a month (!) to please her employer and not risk getting fired/homelessness. [/quote]

Not sure what your are talking about! my husband travels for work and cannot say no, he will lose his job. You can't have it both ways!! When I am selected to go a conference, I don't get the option to say no. Maybe you should stop commenting on things you know nothing about?[/quote]

Depends on your job.  My husband can say no to travel, has canceled if someone gets sick and only has to go to a few mandatory conference but if he didn't it probably would not be a big deal.  Other jobs you cannot say no. But, its a bit absurd to make a nanny or AP constantly travel as its very hard to entertain kids in hotel rooms.[/quote]

Families have different needs. And [b]most[/b] families don’t stay in hotels anymore but stay in a full functioning house. If traveling with the family is part of the job then that’s what OP’s family needs are and I am sure she can find an AP who is ok with it.[/quote]

Not sure what you are talking about.  We only stay in hotels or camp.  No rental homes. [/quote]

Reading comprehension failure, the keyword here is "[b]most[/b]".[/quote]

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