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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In the current arrangement, your AP has zero reason to pull it together. You work from home, your nanny is still working, it sounds like your 2 year old goes to daycare or nanny is in charge (you wrote AP is only working early morning and a few mornings, so where is 2 year old the rest of the day?). The nanny or you drive AP around when she needs/wants to leave the house. What a pain for your nanny who probably feels like she is now responsible for a 4th child.

Anyway, until you turn this over to your AP, I imagine she will remain stuck. Most of us wouldn’t be able to even be at this point 2 months into a 12 month program. Most of us need AP up and running full swing within a few days of her arrival.

In my opinion, until you insist that she drives and let go of your nanny and perhaps even “go to the office” (even if that means a coffee shop), your AP will confine in this 4th child role. Unfortunately it sounds like your current set up has enabled an already immature AP.[/quote]

I do go to an office, in my home, shut the door and work for up to ten hours a day. 
I interact with clients and produce a lot of materials that require concentration.
I’m not sitting on the couch eating bonbons or available to watch or pick up my kids. 
My nanny is a professional and has been a great asset for years, even for the last two months as she’s taken on a new charge [/quote]

The nanny is simply doing the usual ‚orientation‘ and getting into the job which is mostly done by the hostmum. I honestly can‘t see anything wrong with that. I would certainly not get rid of the nanny right now. Being an au pair is also about finding your place within a household. The top priority here is that mum is able to fulfill her obviously challenging job. She has chosen to have a soft transition - and that should be fine. The family seems to have gone out of their way in including au pair in out of the house activities, she choose to stay alone and miserable. This is a personality problem. My au pairs work 2/3 of the legal hours plus often 2 extra days off per week. They have never had a problem filling their time. Also they have been working alongside a nanny, a dogsitter and a household help. An adult can fiigure it out when and where an extra pair of hands is needed or whether you‘d rather tend to something else - and whether to give the family some space and privacy! I have never had to shop, cook or clean after my au pairs. Your au pair is not making your life any easier - I‘d say get rid asap.[/quote]

FWIW, I‘m in Europe and have had outstanding North American au pairs. So to all you American moms, I don‘t second the critisism that American kids are brought up to be not independent enough. I have never had a problem with work ethics and initiative! Also, in my European homecountry we firmly hold the belief that Italians are the one‘s that live at home longest and get pampered the most by their mums. Maybe stereotyping but that‘s what we say here...[/quote]

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