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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I make dinner for the kids she eats it too and there's not enough for 3. Or I'll make myself lunch and come back and she's eating some of it. Am I expected to cook for her? If so, can I ask her to do some of the cooking for the family too.  If I'm not  required, how can I politely lay this out?[/quote]

You are required to provide room and board. Does that mean you have to actively cook her 21 meals a week? No. However, asking her to prepare dinner for herself each night sounds higly inefficient.

a) You could ask HER to make dinner for the kids and herself - on the clock.
b) You could make dinner for the kids and simply make enough to feed her as well (or all four of you).
c) If you make salad for yourself just chop up an extra two tomatoes or an extra carrot or whatever and make enough for her to share.
d) Prepare lunch/dinner together.

How welcome would you feel if you were living somewhere and they'd constantly prepare meals that didn't include you? Would you expect your teenagers to prepare all meals for themselves while you make your own? If it was your daughter living with a family half way across the globe, how would you feel if her host family ate without her or didn't cook enough for her to share at meal times? If she was your sister's daughter, staying with you to babysit, what would your sister say if you didn't include her in family meals? How would you want to be treated?

You are more than two college students sharing an apartment. You are less than family. However, there is a huge grey area between "preparing all meals for her and asking her to cook for herself."[/quote]

I am a working host dad, my wife doesn't cook. I cook mostly since I come from a different country and need my food. Our aupar eats a LOT. Woth 3 people. So when I cook something specific for myself and kids. It's more than throwing a burger on stove, these are specialized dishes that can take an hour and make enough so there is some for next day lunch and dinner and my aupair will eat ALL of it leaving just leftover. I don't feel it's fair that I spend 1 hour every night to cook for 8 people. it's NOT my responsibility to cook 3 times more for au pair. It's not fair that you eat one pizza and now you have to cook 3 pizzas so your au pair can eat 2. It's OK to throw some 5 mins dish in microwave but not fair to cook hours hours. Most people commenting here have no clue.[/quote]

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