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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the issue with the OP is that it blurs lines between OP just fundamentally misunderstanding the program and things that are actually problems.

For instance, telling the AP to go find her nephews and have them wash their hands and thinking it's a problem if she can't find them and returns... on her off time, in a house she's never been in before... is totally unreasonable. She's off. You're not her boss. Would you say the same thing to another guest in your home?

Being annoyed that the AP is not watching kids at a ballgame when she's off? Unreasonable. The lines when you're an AP are very blurry since you're always around and I actually think it's completely fine for them to draw lines and not constantly babysit for free at "family events" they're invited to as a participant.

Should your sister have brought a guest without telling you? No. But it sounds like you knew she was coming, because otherwise why *wouldn't* you have expected the nanny (or your sister) to watch your nephews? It sounds like you *assumed* she was working, but you were wrong not her. If your sister didn't describe the situation accurately, that's her fault.

Obviously an AP shouldn't be rude, but serving kids first is totally a cultural thing and maybe not one shared with her culture? I don't actually see anything else that you describe as being "rude."[/quote]

"Rude" maybe is too strong for this situation. However, the inconsideration of this AP is generally "annoying". For example, sitting in a conversation that is not related to her (siblings with spouses who are all much older than her) for 2 hours. This really ruins the time that OP expected to spend with her own family. Did AP do completely wrong? I guess not because of the "treat them like family" thing. But AP really should know better on the differences between "family" and "like a family".  Sit and eat first as a guest in someone else's house is not considering either. All those little things add up and bring the tension to the next level.

From my own experience with my APs, a lot of times they can't place themselves at the right spot in different situations. Or you can say that they need better EQ. Knowing your position is always important regardless what you do. It is just a common sense but I guess it comes with age. APs are generally immature girls. [/quote]

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