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Reply to "How to avoid a “my way or the highway” nanny"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are multiple schools of thought on these things you mention and a nanny who is a good fit for you will accommodate them instead of ordering you around like a drill sergeant. I have a lovely nanny with 10+ years experience who is autonomous enough to make good decisions in our absence, has a lot of helpful suggestions (of which we take probably 80%), but defers to us or asks us on things that are parenting preferences. in exchange we give her free rein as long as our general philosophy and major safety/health related preferences are followed . You can definitely find such a nanny who will be a valued partner! A nanny should understand that just as she would not like being micromanaged, parents don't want an "expert" to criticize and nitpick every parenting decision they make. That is what mothers in law are for and they are FREE. :lol: [/quote] I agree 100% with all of the above -- and I actually think the nanny in question here was right in everything that she told you (dictated to you). [/quote] Our pediatrician recommends CIO after 6 mos of age, as well as iron fortified cereal for breastfed babies. But what does she know? [/quote] Most nannies know that pediatricians know a lot less than the godlike omniscience that parents give them credit for. I have seen all kinds of misdiagnoses, or misleading advice based on peds who are trying to steer parents towards the ped’s own preference, or peds who give counsel that is outdated or uninformed. But yes, your doctor said it so definitely follow it blindly. I am sure every pediatrician out there is an expert in every area of parenting.[/quote] LOL. So if my nanny and doctor disagree, I should listen to the nanny with no questions asked? You people are unreal. Get over yourselves. Fantastic illustration of the Dunning-Kruger effect here.[/quote] Where did anyone say you should listen to the nanny (or anyone else) no questions asked. If your experienced, educated nanny says A and the pediatrician says B, you ask both for more information and to cite their sources and you check other reputable sources as well. Mayo clinic is a good online source as well as healthychildren.org (run by the AAP). But what do I know? I’ve only been working with children professionally and hands-on for a decade. [/quote] You can't say that pediatricians know nothing about normal development, then try to cite the APA as a reputable source of information. Pick a side. Also, both those publications are written for lay people, not professionals. [/quote] I never said that pediatricians know nothing about normal development. I said that many parents treat the ped like God and obey every statement like it must be current, thoughtful and thoroughly researched. When the AAP collectively publishes policy statements and guidance, it IS current, thoughtful and thoroughly researched. But individual pediatricians are fallible human beings and often are biased, lazy or underinformed. Yes, tose oublications are for laypeople, but if a ped is giving advice that is contrary to a published AAP, I would hope most parents would want to be alerted to that and to ask their ped why their child is an exception to the published advice. Sometimes there is a very good reason, but often when I have pointed out to parents that the advice they were given is the opposite of the party line, they have asked only to be told that it was not actual medical advice (as it was stated or implied originally), but it was really just an opinion from one parent to another. As a nanny, I tend to know a lot more about the “party line” of the AAP and other children’s health organizations than a typical first time parent (and no, this doesn’t expire when the child is a toddler. That is their first toddler, but it is my tenth. I know this is a huge hread derailment but please everyone be aware that medical advice needs to be researched and evaluated. Please have other sources for parenting decisions aside from one person who sees your kid for 20 minutes twice a year.[/quote]
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