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[quote=Anonymous]I have been an Au Pair 5 times (all over the world) and while I have kept mostly positive memories of my host families and remain in touch with some of them, I still can't deny that a lot of a families often try and take the piss/abuse the program.

HF 1:

Single mother who paid me absolute peanuts (think less than the weekly stipend of an Au Pair in the US for an entire month of work) and didn't have any rules in place for her 3yo, her 3yo would bite me, kick me, insult me on a daily basis and there would be absolutely no consequences and the mother was actually quite verbally abusive as well. I was 17 at the time and the fact that this first experience didn't put me off Au Pairing again was an absolute miracle.

HF2:
The kids (a 4yo and 18months old twins)  were adorable and very well-behaved but parents (even though nice) were barely there and I was made to work from 6 am (or whatever time the kids woke up) till 8.30pm at night, every day, sometimes even on weekends. (I was made to work the entire day on my birthday which happened to be a sunday, my day off under the excuse  that they needed time away from the kids to bake me a cake.)  I ended up working  60hours a week and only had time to go out at time, which I often did just so that I could have a break. I once woke up the kids as I left and got very badly yelled at  by the father as he "wasn't paying me to have fun" he was paying me about 220$/a month!!!

HF3:

Lovely famiily, very considerate of me and the cultural experience I could get and really have nothing negative to say about them.

HF4:

Great family and I loved the child but they did make me work more than what was initially agreed ( not as bad as HF2 though).

HF5:

Nice people but ironically definitely the closest you can come to "slave keepers".

Lied to me about MANY things during the interview, omitting very important details that, had they been disclosed, would have made me pick a different family.

During the interview this family told me that I would be working during the week (no mention at all of the weekends) before and after school that I would have my own room and would have enough free time to explore and do my own things. So these where my expectations only to be told,  after having travelled over 7000kms to get to their house, that they actually mostly needed me on the weekends  and that "my" room was also the laundry room and the room where staff (they were rich) hung out during the day.

I ended up working everyday of the week (bare tuesdays) even having to work  24hours on weekend as they would ask me to sleep on the sofa next to the kid's room on Fridays to Sundays' evenings as they couldn't hear the kids from their room and always wanted someone to be on-call just in case (they had someone else do it during the week) which mean I never had a break on weekends, barely had a break during the week, never had proper sleep (even when I was sleeping in "my" room a member of the staff would come get dress or put laundry on my bed or whatever) and absolutely had no privacy (they also ommited to tell me they had cameras,they don't bother me but that was just one more omition from them). Worst part was that when I arrived I couldn't figure out how to get the warm water to work only to be told by the staff than in this side of the house (the staff area) there was no warm water, which meant that their staff was forced to take daily cold showers. I complained and they eventually installed warm water in the bathroom I was using (along with the rest of the staff) but it's appalling that I even had to suggest that maybe it wasn't really fair.  :(

I also didn't have a house key (didn't trust their employees to have one) which meant that I could only go out on my only day off and never at night as going out at night would mean having to wake someone to have them open the door for me which also mean they had total control over my outgoings.

This family wasn't fundamentally bad, they were actually very nice to talk to and spend time with and they did treat me as a member of their family in many aspects, but the initial lying and omition of important details, the lack of any privacy and how unfairly they treated the people who worked in their home was real hard to stomach. I only put up with it because I was stuck there, got along great with the staff and could see that they had it even worse than me and I would have felt bad leaving early when they were stuck there. I am still very much in touch with one member of the staff who happen to still work for the family and she is at the end of her tether (unfortunately she has 3 children to feed and clothes and is too scared to leave this job and not be able to find something else to provide for her kids so she feels trapped.)

One may ask why I have put up with so much crap from the families and didn't up and leave but the truth is that I was young,  didn't necessarily had the money to leave and my workplace was also my home. The fear that you may find yourself homeless in a foreign country, far away from your home, if you complain or open your mouth too much is very real. So most of us take it under the chin and liive through it the best we can. 
I'll admit that most of my adventures where far away from the US so I didn't have the support system that Au Pairs who come to the US have but I still think there should be more in place to protect Au Pairs from abusing families.

I think the Au Pair program can have a lot to offer to both the Au Pair and the Host Family and I don't believe at all that all families want "cheap labor" , "slaves" or "low cost nannies" but some do and I think it's important that a system is put in place to ensure Au Pairs are treated fairly as Au Pairs are unfortunately highly dependent on their host family.

Like I have said, I have mostly pointed out the negatives of my Au Pair experiences but I still have very fond memories of all and each of my families and each of my host kid still hold a very special space in my heart.

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