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[quote=nannydebsays][quote=Anonymous]I am been the nanny for a wonderful little boy for the last two years, since his birth.  I have been a truly great nanny (even if you don't believe me, please accept this as true for argument sake).  Beyond just being a great nanny, I have a bond with my charge and I love him more than I ever thought possible to love a child not my own.  And I have sacrificed to stay this child's nanny - passing up far more lucrative positions and even taking a second weekend job just to stay his nanny.

Just a few minutes ago, the parents told me they are putting him in daycare.  THis has been in the works - the preparation for daycare for awhile.  When they told me, I was stunned.  They both said that I was fantastic and that their child would not be the great and smart kid he is had it not been for me.

I lost it.  First, all day daycare is a huge mistake for this particular boy at this time in his life.  Second, because they just sprung it on me.

I don't know what to do now.  I said my peace and told them my truth - that I have never been more disappointed  in two people in my entire life. I walked in and kissed my beautiful charge and told him that I loved him. I asked them to send my last paycheck and walked out.  Clearly, the parents did not expect me to be done that moment and they have no care for their son until daycare starts.  But I don't know what to do.

I cannot see spending the next two weeks (or however long they had in mind) crying every time I look at him.  How would I go around to our usual story times, music class, parent & me, etc when everyone knows us and explain that I will no longer be this fantastic and polite little boy's nanny anymore...

What is the right thing to do?  I honestly don't know.  THis is my first longterm nanny job (although I have been a preschool teacher for twenty years so I am obviously not a kid).

I am sick about this.  Please - someone - tell me what to do.  I know I got too attached.  I know I sacrificed far too much to stay his nanny - but I thought I was appreciated.

BTW, they are only putting him in daycare to save money.

~~~~~~~

OP here and I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Development. According to my employers, no one advised that their child be put in daycare. They are doing it to save for a house and go on vacation (MB's words were that she hasn't been on a vacation this year or bought new clothes as reasons to put her son in daycare).

It is my opinion that daycare is not right for my charge. My educated opinion and knowledge gained from being his nanny.

And I don't know what "SWF with the child" means.

I will grant you that I love him too much. I never should have gotten to attached to him, But I am proud of the work I have done with him and what a smart and polite little guy he is.

I am sorry if you feel I am overreacting. This has come out of the blue and I am simply stunned.

And to the OP who suggested and agency: yes, I am going to go through an agency this time. My weekend position was through an agency and it is a great job and well-paying. I will not make the same mistakes I made with this soon-to-be-former MB/DB. [/quote]

OP, while I do feel sympathy for you and the situation you are in, your reaction to disappointing and sad news was, IMO, way way way over the top. As a seasoned nanny, I have a few suggestions for you:

1) Apologize to the parents. Profusely. Tell them you are embarrassed by your over-reaction, and that you want to work with them as a team to help THEIR child transition to daycare as smoothly as possible. (BTW, You take him the first 3 days for the hour visit, you and parent(s) take him the next 3 days, then the parent(s) take him from then on.)

1)a) Doing the above MIGHT save your reference. If you hope to work with an agency next, having a lukewarm or poor reference from your only nanny job will ensure that agencies never send you on an interview. Ever.

2) Reflect on whether the nanny profession is the right one for you. Nannies MUST accept that their job is to help a family grow OUT of needing their services. Your love will always stay with your charges, even when you do not see them daily. You have to accept this to continue working in this field.

3) Develop a nanny mantra. For you, I would suggest, "I am the nanny, not the parent. The parents are in charge."

4) Find nanny friends in your area. Look for a specific friend who you can talk to confidentially when you need to vent. We all need to roll our eyes sometimes with a fellow nanny who understands the balance we have to seek between over-involvement and disinterest.

5) Do not sacrifice your finances for employers. You have to take responsibility for hard choices, and that means following the money if the higher paying job is better for you overall.

6) You make it through the next weeks by doing your job like a professional adult. Do your best not to exhibit scary emotions at work - you don't really want the toddler to pick up on your vibe of sadness, right? You ask the parents, after your apology has been accepted and they have processed your regrets, if they are willing to allow you to stay in touch through baby sitting, etc. And you accept their decision with grace and dignity, even if they tell you, "Jane, we are not sure that it would be in our best interests to have you babysit. We have tried to move past your reaction to our putting Harrison in day care, but we just can't do that right now."

I do wish you good luck, and hope you can find balance and peace in your next job, whatever it may be.

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