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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I never said i wanted her locked in her room. She has an entire house. She is welcomed to sit with us but if she does then she is expected to act like I or my husband would or even my teenager. Responsible and aware of what is going on around her. So if my kids went into her room and hung out while she is in there, would that be ok to you guys? I really don't think so. Anyway it looks like I am wasting my time wih most of you here. Some that did respond were very helpful and I thank you, but some of you just talk out of your butts without thinking things through or reading properly. [/quote]

She doesn't have the whole house, you are limiting where she is allowed to be and when.  I've invited children into my room during my time off, teens to talk, elementary age kids to play games, little ones to cuddle and read stories.  Those are my choice in my own space in my time off.  I have NEVER been told to get out of a common area, nor given a schedule of when I'm allowed to use common areas (if you aren't capable of having someone share a kitchen with you, I wonder what the issue is as I've shared with 5-7 children at time...).  You are obviously part of the Canadian live-in caregiver program.  Yes, you are required to have the caregiver live with you, you knew that when you agreed to be part of that program.  However, you are also required to have a contract and STICK TO that contract.  That means that if she is in the living room and your requirement for her to be there is that she discipline the child, she gets paid OT.  She is NOT a member of your family, she is NOT required to act as a member of your family.  Your nanny is trying to be cooperative by making sure that her chores are done, even when she didn't have time to do them during her scheduled work hours.

I'm sorry, but this irritates me on so many levels.  I've done 24/7, I only take live-in positions, but this...  I wish you luck, but you need live-out care, you need to not be part of the live-in caregiver program and she needs a new family that understands what she is worth.[/quote]

I am the one who said that my au pair is not free to use the kitchen when I am cooking the family meal.  Not the OP.  Honestly, this has never actually come up.  I am a pretty good cook, and my au pairs have always opted to eat the family meal.  I just used it as an example of something that I would think is pretty obvious good manners when someone isn't free to use the common area.  Also, I teach the kids that they have to eat what I make, and to have the au pair eating a different meal while we are eating wouldn't really be good modeling.

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Au pairs have a very different purpose than nannies do.[/quote]

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