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Reply to "the dreaded MB jealousy..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of you office 'ladies' may want invest a little time in educating yourselves about early childhood development, bonding and attachment, in particular. If your children have already suffered multiple primary caregiver severed attachments, all we can do is feel sorry for them. [/quote] *to invest[/quote] To further inform you... repercussions are likely to suddenly appear as "genetic mental illness" down the road. Of course people will say, "but the parents are so nice." Think about it ladies, before getting defensive again. You owe it to your children, to do the very best you can with whatever you have available to you.[/quote] The seeds of mental illness are often (not always) sown during the formative years, early in life. When caregivers are unstable, unloving, or incompetent, of course there are consequences. How could you think otherwise?[/quote] My "office job" is working as a child psychiatrist. I have no idea where you are getting this from. Winnicott? He really doesn't say that if you read it. [/quote] What would you say are the probable consequences of unstable, unloving, or incompetent primary caregivers during the formative years? A primary caregiver is whoever provides most of the care during the child's waking hours. Most physicians I know, tend to believe most mental illness is caused by bad luck genes, rather than by environment (especially early environment.)[/quote] Still hoping to hear the opinion of the pediatric psychiatrist.....[/quote] So, I will respond. Most psychiatrists think that a kid can withstand a pretty good amount of trauma if a) he is blessed with good genes (of course), and b) he has a consistent caregiver who is looking out for his best interests. It doesn't have to be the person who spends the most time with him. Sometimes a grandma or an adult that is a good friend of the child will do. So will the child's parents, even if they both work, and he spends most of his time with the nanny. If the parents are good and they handle transitions appropriately, recognize the child's needs and help him verbalize them (if appropriate), and deal with various traumas in a child's life with patience and understanding, then something like changing nannies is unlikely to have long term consequences on a child's mental health. [/quote] I want to wholeheartedly endorse this, not as a pediatric psychiatrist but as a trained professional who works with severely traumatized kids and kids who have been victimized in a way that ends up in legal involvement. One stable, loving, caregiver can be the anchor in a child's world. If that caregiver is a family member (immediate or close extended) the value and impact of that relationship strengthens the extent to which the child can weather trauma. In the circumstances dealt with almost all of the time on these boards, the child(ren) in question have one or more stable parent overseeing their care from the day they were born. Barring abuse by a caregiver, special needs of a child, or other extraordinary circumstances, children will not be significantly harmed by changes in care providers.[/quote] Sounds like you're both trying to say the stability of an infant's/toddler's primary caregiver isn't really all that critical. Please clarify if this is not what you mean to say.[/quote] That is EXACTLY what they are saying! Are you really going to continue to beat this dead horse when many people, who are professionally qualified to do so, have refuted your asinine argument? Give it a rest!![/quote] Check your excitement and perhaps allow them to speak for themselves, if they care to, as the question was directed to those two posters, not you. Thanks.[/quote] This is a community forum and anyone is free to speak to whatever they wish. If you can't handle people disagreeing with you, go away. You are a bore anyways. [/quote] Yes, community is good. And so is a little decorum on your part. Thank you.[/quote]
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