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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, I am an MB w/ a long-term nanny so I may not understand the whole au pair world, but it seems rather silly and petty to me that a parent would begrudge someone extra time off if they were around to stay w/ their children.  I actually like being able to send my nanny home early b/c it means I can spend more time w/ my children.  With two working parents any time we can spend with our children we do.  I wouldn't spend any energy sending passive aggressive messages to my au pair and just do what works/is right for my family.[/quote]

Maybe you didn't mean it like I took it but your post kind of illustrates [u]why I feel guilty for using 45 hours and resent that[/u].  Of note, I have 3 kids under 6 (6, 4 and 3 to be exact).  I work fulltime, so does my husband and we have no free help in the area (grandparents etc.).  
[u]When I have a federal holiday, I have our AP work because it is finally a day where I can relax, take care of somethings etc.  Otherwise, it is ALWAYS me (and husband) taking care of the kids: mornings, evenings, weekends.  I am not a machine[/u] and would soo much like a break sometimes.  But [u]you make me feel guilty because I sound like I don't want to spend extra time with my kids [/u]when I spent all of my none-working hours with them (excluding sleep).[/quote]
Generally, when you have children, this is how life is. You don't get a special prize for taking care of your children when you are not at work. [/quote]

Why so nasty?  [b]This poster wasn't asking for a "special prize" or even any sympathy.[/b]  She was simply saying that one of the reasons she has an au pair is not only for childcare during work purposes, but also so she can get some me time.  [b]You have no idea how much of a break her au pair gets[/b] or how her au pair feels about the situation based on her tiny paragraph.  [/quote]

Did you even read her post? From it we can gather that 1) she feels guilty and resents being made to feel that way by posters who disagreed with her actions, 2) she feels that the expectation that she care for the children she chose to have mornings evenings and weekends is some Herculean task that only machines can do, and 3) that her AP does not get a break on holidays because HM needs the break, not her, from all the not child-caring she already does. You're right though, you cannot gather how the AP feels about situation, though I'm sure she is thrilled about it. Everyone loves working, while watching their boss kick back eating bon bons lamenting about how hard they work. Just thrilled. [/quote]

PP, there's obviously a balance.  And your approach of being nasty and sarcastic and basically purporting that if you want to be away from your kids for even a minute, then you shouldn't have been a mom is just unrealistic and unhelpful.  I can appreciate some of what you're saying, but man, if you'd say it in a voice that was even a little kind, you'd get your point across much more successfully.  I don't think the posters are reacting with defensiveness to your points, they're reacting with defensiveness to your sarcasm and meanness.[/quote]

Why do you continue to insist that you are responding to one poster? I'm not the poster of the "nasty" prize post, I simply tried to further illustrate her point, and to point out the fallacies in your own post. The poster in question was looking for sympathy and does seem to have an attitude that caring for her own children is some kind of unrealistic expectation. She's really not helping the image of this program, and its attitudes like hers that disgust people in regard to the whole AP program. She sounds like a spoiled princess regarding her AP as little more than a workhorse. That's where the nastiness comes from. Its frustrating and angering to see these women exploited this way. [/quote]

You got that her au pair is being "exploited" because she asked her au pair to work on a holiday when she would have otherwise been scheduled anyway?[/quote]

Not "a" holiday. All holidays. She said whenever I have a holiday, AP works. And its not just the holidays, its the squeezing every hour possible out of her, without any real need. Its a crappy way to treat someone. [/quote]

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