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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought I’d find good friends to go out with but we are about 6 Au Pairs in my cluster, 2 of which don’t go out because they live far away and don’t have a car or public transportation.[/quote]
My au pair has found pretty much all of her friends on Facebook and outside of her cluster.  You're not limited to the 6 au pairs in your cluster.  Ask your LCC to introduce you to another cluster or get on one of the Facebook Philadelphia au pair groups and say "hey, I'm new here - anyone doing anything this weekend that I can tag along to?"  I think I said this before, but you can't just say "oh well, there are only 4 au pairs I can go out with in my cluster, so I guess I'll never have any friends, poor me."  You're going to have the same situation in many other clusters.  You have got to put yourself out there.
[quote=Anonymous]
I’m going to have to tell them I don’t plan on staying the whole year, so it doesn’t make sense to enroll in classes.[/quote]
Ok, but I'll hope you'll take the advice to sign up for some classes immediately on your next match.
[quote=Anonymous]
“Have you talked with your HP about the week they will be in Mexico in a conversation - can you ask if they are open to you taking some time to travel while they are away? “
I didn’t say anything and didn’t thinking about taking some time off this early in my Au Pair year.  And I wasn’t left a choice, they want/need me to be home in the morning to open the door and in the evening to shut it. [/quote]
It is imperative that you communicate with your host family and that you recognize that they have no idea what you're feeling, especially this early in the process.  It's funny to me that you don't see this as a bonus extra week to get out there and make friends.  They basically gave you an extra week off.  What an opportunity!  So you have to open the door in the morning and "shut it" at night?  That gives you a whole day to get into the city.  Or to plan a couple-day trip into NYC or something - ask your host parents if they could find someone else for those days.  Go on a Facebook group and post "hey, I have off on X and Y days - anyone want to do a NYC run with me?"  The fact that you're not seeing this is an awesome opportunity is really strange to me.  
[quote=Anonymous]“You need to allow your HF some space too . . . going with the HF on vacation is not a right or expectation” So I guess I didn’t read correctly the line “being treated as a family member”. Do you leave a family member on his own if you go somewhere? I don’t think so. [/quote]
"Being treated as a family member" doesn't mean the same thing to everyone and certainly doesn't mean that you are literally exactly like their daughter or something.  It also doesn't mean that any family is going to completely know what you want and treat you perfectly after only a month.  They have no idea how you're feeling.  Even with an adult daughter, if they were going away for a week to a family wedding to which she wasn't invited, I can completely see the adult daughter being psyched not to have to go and to have a week completely to herself in the house.  OP, you really need to get over thinking that you're going to be immediately welcomed as a complete and equal "family member."  
[quote=Anonymous]Most Au Pairs leave their own family to go and live with another family. There’s a gap between the two and it’s nice to feel welcomed and treated as a member of the family. While they have been nice to me, I took to heart to be left on the side and I can’t get over that feeling.[/quote]
Absolutely it's nice to feel welcomed and treated like a member of the family.  It sounds like they're at least kind of trying to do that.  I really can't believe you can't understand that it could have been completely reasonable to not take you to Mexico and that you really have no business being so hurt over that especially when you said absolutely nothing about how you were feeling.  That frightens me for your future chances at success in this program.
[quote=Anonymous]“Regarding working hours - was your host family not up front about that when you interviewed with them? Did these change after you arrived? “
I knew I would work 45 hours and more when there’s no school. I didn’t know I’d work when they were home (in the evening when I put their kid to bed, on Saturdays during the day when they’re around the house or locking themselves in their bedroom while I’m in the next bedroom with their son, playing with the very few toys he has. Luckily I manage to go to the park/playground quite often and we bring a ball or a bat etc They told me there were many kids on their street and that their son was active playing with them … I find out once here that he has no friends, and I understand why because he throws fits often and I never managed to organize a playdate, the kids don’t want to come to the house ? I’m sad for this kid.[/quote]
This is legit and they definitely should have been upfront with you about exactly what your schedule would be.  Definitely you would be within your rights to ask for help from them on your concerns.
[quote=Anonymous]The dad is very warm, talking to me a lot, he works from home and comes to say hi once in a while, we get along great.
The mom not taking care of her son doesn’t have anything to do with cultural exchange. A mom is supposed to be a mom, getting her kid up, putting him to bed, read him a story, spend some time with him on a Saturday. I wouldn’t see anything wrong in her going to the gym, eating out with her husband if she was a good mom the rest of the time. She barely talks to me and when she does she doesn’t look at me straight in the eyes. She’s ill at ease and then I’m ill at ease as well.[/quote]
There is no way a mom is "supposed" to be.  If you don't like the way she is, then you need to do her a favor and rematch.
[quote=Anonymous]September is the perfect moment of the year where you can find a rematch easily, my LLC told it to me, she already has contacts with families, all she’s waiting for is that I talk to my family. There’s no way I’m going to go home ! I have waited for years to come as an Au Pair, saved money to travel, planned my studies so I could take a year off.  To end this long post, my LLC agreed with me that it wasn’t nice from my host family to leave me home for one week just 3 weeks after I got here. She’s willing to help me go through a rematch but first I need to talk to my host family. And I know I have to thank them for welcoming me etc but that I am not comfortable staying for a year with them.I’ll try to talk to them this evening after work. I’ll let you know how it goes ?[/quote]
Your LCC was not saying that they definitely should have taken you to Mexico - she was commiserating with you that it stinks to be left alone when you're depressed already.  I'm shocked that she didn't give you some suggestions for getting out there for the week and using it as an extra bonus.  And why is it 3 weeks now and not 5 weeks after you've arrived?  OP, I agree that you should rematch because it does not sound like a good fit.

But think long and hard about what you're going to look like to a new family and what you say about why you're leaving.  If I interviewed an au pair and she told me that she left because after a month she couldn't make friends, thought the host mom wasn't a good mom, was upset that the family didn't take her to a family wedding in Mexico, she couldn't handle the one single older child, she never got the car, she didn't have a TV in her room and was bored - it would be an easy pass.[/quote]

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