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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - Thanks for all the awesome feedback!!!! So what I'm thinking is that we will ask her to have dinner with us Monday to Thursday and pay her until 7:00 p.m. We usually sit down to dinner at 5:30-6:00 on a week night. (So she'll be working 7:30-9:30 in the mornings and 3:00-7:00 in the evenings except Friday, when we'll pay her until 6:00 and let her decide if she wants to join us for dinner.) Does that seem fair?[/quote]

OP, that seems fine (only 30 hours total, so actually a lot fewer than the 45 you technically pay for).  Many APs would really like this schedule because they have all day off and don't have the kids for a whole day straight.  Just make sure any potential candidates know that schedule before matching. And 7 is early enough that she can still go out after dinner with friends.

Be very very clear on what you want her to do be doing when you are home cooking dinner and she is still on duty. We've had two APs and neither was great at working with me when I was home. I would explain, for example, that I wanted her to play with the kids while I cook.  Our current AP still just stands there until I explicitly tell her to do something even after we've talked about what her function is when she's assisting me. Honestly, I've just stopped scheduling we to help me because its more annoying than helpful. You want to make sure you get a confident helpful au pair who won't feel badly about jumping in when you're there too. [/quote]

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