Reply to Had argument with MB and could use perspective. Lengthy.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been a career nanny for over 20 years.  This , and this is my perspective.

On MB - She sounds like she is looking at every little thing right now, and since I do not know her, I do not know if she is always that way, or because she is pregnant and not feeling well.  She seems to be making things larger than they are in the first week of the job, rather than to recognize that the first month or so is an adjustment period, and just to have good communication about things (tell you as they happen), keep an open mind and see where it all settles.  She asked if you would mute your phone - fine.  She asked and you did so - that should be over.  She needed to be clear when she hired you that she wanted errands run during the class time.  She also needed to be clear that your 6:30 time off was 6:30 if everything was going okay, but she wanted a few extra minutes if she needed it.  I have had families negotiate both of those exact things up front with me.  If you are telling someone what their time off is, that is their time off.  If you want it to be flexible depending on what is going on, you say just that.  "Normally, you would get off at 6:30, but I would like to have a little cushion if the kids are crazy or I need a little help, so usually 6:30, but no later than 6:45."  That she did not make these things clear (leaving time and errands), is her fault.  It doesn't matter what nanny is being paid.  It isn't that because she is being paid x, then she should be able to read minds.  They agreed on the money, the leaving time, and the duties.  The bosses still have an obligation to be clear about the duties and time they leave work during the contract phase.

As a side note, in the cities I have worked (and am aware of), $20/hr isn't that high for 3 kids in a job that is only 3 hours per day.  It is 3 kids, and very part time jobs like that often pay somewhat more since it is hard to get nannies who can work that, and who will stay long term.

On Nanny (OP) - In general, it does look bad to ask to leave early during the first week of work, unless it was an emergency.  Also, you may have been able to anticipate needing to turn your phone to silent, but she asked and you did, so that should be over.  I would not have asked the first week whether I could wait in my car rather than the building during class.  I would have thought that would come across as you trying to change the "rules" right off the bat.  However, the fact that you asked her rather than just did it, should actually make her feel better about you in a way.  So to some extent you did come across as not very serious about the job.  The other things (expecting you can leave at your scheduled time off and not offering to go to the store) were on her to be more clear to you from the get go.  You were doing your duties as outlined by her, and leaving at your time off as outlined by her.     
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