Reply to Anyone get a nanny more as a companion for themselves?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Are you depressed Op? I get a sense of sadness in your posts.  Maybe a therapist is a good way to go.   But until you can get in to see a therapist, are there any groups  or classes in your area?[/quote]

OP here.  I do see a therapist.  A very good one.  I am putting myself out there, a lot.  I go to meetup groups, other social groups.  But people are "crazy busy" and don't have time for me.  They already have all the friends they need.  It's very discouraging.  Same thing at work.[/quote]
Sorry for your situation OP, but this is called being an adult. I have moved around a lot in my life and am very far from family as well, and the truth is it's just not that easy to make friends as an adult. You have the unique advantage of being in a situation where other women would love to make friends with you, other new moms.  There are bump clubs, new mom groups and plenty of other outlets that your (supposed) therapist can recommend. [b]Hiring someone to be your friend will not work out well for you in the end[/b].  What you are looking for is still, essentially, [b]a business agreement,[/b] and when [b]money is involved[/b], things will get complicated. Don't give up on yourself so easily...and in reality, after you have a newborn, alone time might likely become one of your most precious commodities (again surprised your therapist hasn't touched on this). [/quote]

OP, how will you respect yourself if you're LITERALLY buying someone's friendship? If someone paid me to be friendly and go see movies and pay for me to go into museums and to lunch or whatever, I'd sure never argue with them or let them know when I didn't respect their choices, or anything. Will you TRULY be able to believe any compliments this person gives when you're paying them?

My husband works and travels a lot too. My family is also 3000 miles away. But I introduced myself to neighbors, found a couple of places where I could volunteer, and was open about looking for friends. I found that between work, volunteering twice a week, and the 5 or 6 friends I made, it created the perfect balance of alone time and socializing. OP, you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself and to not feel lonely just because you're alone. Create a favorite coffee shop or diner. Go during non-rush hours and camp out with a book or magazine once or twice a week - building community will also help you feel less alone. Go to the library once or twice a week. The desk people will smile when you walk in and they recognize you. Build community. Don't buy friendship. It'll be a friendship based on a false premise. [/quote]

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