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[quote=Anonymous]
Cultural exchange means that you learn about the manners and customs of the country you are visiting.

Hosting means be able to share your customs and to teach about the local manners and expectations.

Would you be upset if you showed up in Japan and a host's family member was immediately annoyed that you didn't know what was considered 'good manners' there? Do you know every custom and expectation about a meal in a foreign country?

This AP was set up to look like a horrible, lazy teenager.  Your sister didn't make it clear whether she was working or not.
You didn't make it clear whether she was even INVITED or not. 
This AP may not have known that she wasn't considered a guest and able to eat first because that may be the custom in her country and with her family.

Just because you were shy or would have not been as confident to grab a plate doesn't mean that this young person isn't. She may be doing what is 100% acceptable in her country. Did anyone tell her otherwise? You just expect her to act like she understands american family customs as if they are universal to the world?

Your sister is upset that you can't just cut this girl a break. She isn't 'the help'.  She's an AP. She's a family member who provides childcare as part of her exchange to live as a family member for a year.

Your problem is not with this AP. Your problem is with your sister. This AP was set up to fail. 
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