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[quote=Anonymous]This is a loaded question. What are you making for the kids that there isn't enough for one more person? Why are you making lunch for just you and then leaving it?

Culturally, it's pretty common in other countries for meals to be shared times even midday. She doesn't understand the expectation is that she cooks for herself.

It is required for you to provide food whether it's cooked or not. It's not a grocery stipend. She may not know how to cook at all. Our last two aupairs couldn't even figure out how to make the simplest meals and would wait for someone to cook for them. They did help clean up after meals.

If you aren't used to sharing family meals, you need to tell her that. "Hey, AP, we don't do family meals here. You need to prepare you own meals or meal prep at the beginning of the week. If you want to eat what the kids are eating, that's fine but let me know so I can make enough for everyone."

I learned the hard way that if I didn't want one of my own children, spouse or AP eating something that I have made for myself, I don't leave it unattended. I now have 3 teenage boys in the house. Unattended food is gone in seconds.[/quote]

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