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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m an experienced mom. Three kids between 5-10. I’ve had the same nanny for 8 years. Before we got her, we had four other nannies; two were not a good fit and two left as a result of external circumstances (one got pregnant and we moved in the other circumstance).

My experience is that the agencies don’t help much.  I had one particularly bad experience with an agency in which the agency didn’t screen the nanny and I only found out through my own research that the nanny had a criminal record (including restraining orders issued against her).  I got a full refund from that agency and have never wasted my time with a nanny agency since then.

There’s little that is more stressful than finding a nanny when you have a young baby. Thankfully, this is just a phase of life. In my opinion, nannies should absolutely help with household tasks when they’re getting paid.  Of course they can take breaks, but being willing to do laundry, light cleaning, and cooking without issues.  At your age, I always gravitated toward older women because of my own maternal insecurity, but I also found this group was the most “set in their ways” about not helping around the house and not having a “can do” attitude. Believe me; I am not a slave driver.  It’s normal for nannies to help around the house, although it’s unreasonable to expect them to do everything.

On the flip side, it is absolutely essential for you to realize that you’re never going to be 100 percent happy.  My nanny now is excellent and has been with us for many years, but I am still frequently disappointed by her lack of initiative.  Parenting and house management are intensely personal and no one ever is going to do it just right. If the nanny is loving to your kids, reliable, and trustworthy, then you have to focus on those most important things and not focus on silly stuff like cleaning toys.  I totally get your annoyance — but I also am positive that you will always be annoyed if you don’t take a big step back and focus on the key elements.  This annoyance is one of the prices you pay for having a career.  [/quote]

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