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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Longtime HM here.  We have APs who used Tinder a lot and APs who didn't date or had longtime significant others during their time with us.  Our "rules" about Tinder are that a) AP should not use in front of our children or in an obvious way in front of our family (this was put into place when an AP spent an entire afternoon with our family casually swiping through potential hook-ups and our children noticed and were talking about it) and b) if it's someone you don't know and trust, don't have them pick you up at our house.  We ask AP to tell us where she is going and with whom so that in the event of an emergency, we know where to tell the police to look for her, but that's it.  All have told us most details mainly because we don't judge.  I have talked safe sex with both of our male and female APs but I don't talk what they should and shouldn't do with their time when not with our family or taking care of our children.[/quote]

Thank you for a helpful post, vs those that seem to think I'm a bad HM just because I don't like that my Au Pair went out a had sex with random men. Your "Tinder" rule is a good idea, and one I will keep it in mind. I think really my issue with it is that I do think of her as a little sister and really want her to make IMO are smart choices and not set herself up. However I do remind myself that I am not her sister, nor her parent and my guidance can only be so much. The only thing I said to her about it afterwards was that I didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to a strangers house and spend the night. After the second one night stand, the only thing I said to her was that she is totally free to do what she wants with these guys, that is her choice but she may not give out any information about my family. [/quote]

OP, don't sweat it, the one person being very negatively about this is the same nanny who spent her time on this forum harassing HFs, not sure why since the nanny forum is just one click away. APs are supposed to be teated as member of the family, so you can judge her dating choices if she shares them with you. At the end of the day just stop listening to her dating story and make her follow the rules you established at the beginning of the program. Good luck![/quote]

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