Reply to Au Pair dating life

Forum Index » Au Pair Discussion

Reply to "Au Pair dating life"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

This person sleeps two doors away from my bedroom and in the bedroom next to my child. She eats dinner with my family at least 5 nights a week. She shares holidays and birthdays with my family. We pay for her cell phone, classes and provide her with a car. All this and you're telling me I should know "NOTHING" about her private life? My Au Pair in not my employee, and isn't treated as such. If I wanted an employee, I would have hired a nanny that goes back to their own home every day.[/quote]

It doesn't mean you should know NOTHING about her, but that you are not ENTITLED to know anything about her private life, let alone who she sleeps with, as long as she doesn't bring them home and impose them on your family/children.

You are free to ask her questions, she should remain free not to want to answer those questions.

Do you feel your AP is entitled to know everything about your private life because she lives with you, eat food with your children, share birthdays with you and drive your car? Is your boss entitled to know who you sleep with or what you do on your free time, because he pays you therefore paying your mortgage, your AP, the food for your children etc... or you admit that paying for things doesn't take away from the privacy people are entitled to?

Yes, you should be made aware of who she brings home and who your children interact with, but no she shouldn't have to tell you who she dates or sleep with and how often regardless of what you give her. Being an AP doesn't mean being stripped of basic rights and basic privacy.

[/quote]

This comment is ridiculous. Where did I ever say I was ENTITLED to know? My au pair tells me she is going on date. Next day I ask, did you have good date? Was it a nice restaurant? Did you have fun bowling for the first time? This is a basic conversation question to ask someone you consider part of your family and of someone that is participating in a culture exchange. I do actually like knowing if she had a good evening. It is not stripping her of privacy, it is conversation. She might say it was a bad date, good date, I don’t feel like talking about it, I liked bowling, whatever. I’m not going to walk on egg shells and not ask basic questions about her day. She is free to share as little about her personal life as she’d like, it’s up to her. She was not forced to tell me where she spent the night. I would never require that. She volunteered the information because she feels comfortable with me. That isn’t my fault and she isn’t a victim. She could have totally kept it a secret from me that is fine and her right. The point of my post was wanting to know if tinder hook ups are a common thing and I stated that I didn’t like them or agree with it. And it is totally within my right to say I don’t like it and I don’t think it’s safe. It is also within my right to say she may not drive my car to questionable areas in DC etc and leave my car there overnight. It is totally within her right to take an Uber to DC on a Saturday night and sleep with 20 men and not tell me anything about it, and I never said otherwise.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics