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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

This person sleeps two doors away from my bedroom and in the bedroom next to my child. She eats dinner with my family at least 5 nights a week. She shares holidays and birthdays with my family. We pay for her cell phone, classes and provide her with a car. All this and you're telling me I should know "NOTHING" about her private life? My Au Pair in not my employee, and isn't treated as such. If I wanted an employee, I would have hired a nanny that goes back to their own home every day.[/quote]

It doesn't mean you should know NOTHING about her, but that you are not ENTITLED to know anything about her private life, let alone who she sleeps with, as long as she doesn't bring them home and impose them on your family/children.

You are free to ask her questions, she should remain free not to want to answer those questions.

Do you feel your AP is entitled to know everything about your private life because she lives with you, eat food with your children, share birthdays with you and drive your car? Is your boss entitled to know who you sleep with or what you do on your free time, because he pays you therefore paying your mortgage, your AP, the food for your children etc... or you admit that paying for things doesn't take away from the privacy people are entitled to?

Yes, you should be made aware of who she brings home and who your children interact with, but no she shouldn't have to tell you who she dates or sleep with and how often regardless of what you give her. Being an AP doesn't mean being stripped of basic rights and basic privacy.

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