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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an AP who do baby-sitting on the side.

I baby-sit for a family M-F in the evenings, which means I make the same (or more) working 10 hours a week for that second family than I do, doing 45h+ for the first.

Has it changed the dynamic with the family? Yes and no, the second family is really nice and treat me like family even though I only spend 2 hours a day with them and always pay me for the full time even though, they often let me go early, they make me feel really valued and appreciated and I think it has emphasized how overworked and slightly unappreciated I feel by the first family who make me work more than 45h, never pay me any extra (they left me for a few days once with the baby and never paid me a penny more than the weekly stipend) etc... and while it hasn't changed my attitude towards them it's definitely convinced me not to extend with them.

Family 2 doesn't currently have an Au Pair but we've talked and they are about to buy a house and offered me to Au Pair for them, I would be doing the same hours as I am doing for them (late afternoon/evenings) and they already told me I would be able to work during the day as she won't need me at all then. Which means that yes, I will leave family 1 (at the end of my contract, even though family 2 has said they would be happy to have me before then) to go to family 2 instead.

If you are a good host family, the Au Pair won't run off nor be looking for another family though, I know I would have wanted to extend with this family were they not over-stretching me and wanting me to give them more than allowed for the minimum amount possible.  Giving your Au Pair the freedom to earn more and therefore the possibility to do more might actually keep her with you longer.

As Au Pairs (and I live in a very expensive part of California) the weekly stipend can be very little in comparison to the cost of life/activities that one would want to do to properly experience the US. Taxes are also excrutiatingly expensive this year and while currently baby-sitting and doing extra means I am working A LOT of hours it also mean that I have more money to enjoy the Bay and all it has to offer and I am appreciative of having the opportunity to double my income and actual have the ability to now save, without having to sacrifice other aspect of my life here.

While the baby-sitting is adding a lot of hours to my already busy schedule, I do NOT let it burn me out as to not impact on my work with family 1, if I feel I am overstretching myself I would have no problem cancelling a night of baby-sitting. I also know that while family 2 is lovely and very accomodating and I enjoy the extra cash, family 1 is the family I officially work for and therefore they have priority over family 2, family 1 is aware I baby-sit at certain times, but they asked to go on a date last week at a time I would baby-sit (despite having used up their hours!) and I still cancelled my baby-sitting gig, losing on money, because extra-work shouldn't impact on the official job.

I would be very annoyed if family 1 didn't let me baby-sit and was trying to control my free time (considering I would ensure baby-sitting never interefered with my AP schedule) so saying no to her working could damage your relationship. I think it's fine to tell her you don't want to help her find it though.   [/quote]

OP here and thank you for this excellent perspective! Our AP told me on a Friday evening she wanted to take 2 classes, stayed overnight with a former AP now a student and got some ideas about second job possibilities, and the. Did an about face on the classes to ask for help finding other work. I think she is doing her best to work out what her options are and I hope to help with that within the limits of the program.

Having said that, I think your post really underscores how important it is to make your AP feel appreciated and how the stipend may not be enough in certain areas where cost of living is high.[/quote]

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