Reply to I think I was fired for being gay.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.

I’m getting mixed suggestions.

Either tell people in the interview (which seems odd to me) or do everything in my power to hide it.[/quote]

The only thing you have to do is accept the reality of bigotry and the possibility that this could happen again. How you navigate that going forward is up to you and your preferences. You could continue to be a very private person and say nothing and hope this never happens again, you could talk about it up front (or even mention your family in your profile that parents read -- "I live with my fiancee, Beth, and our two dogs, Rex and Rover"), you could make sure to never tell and even tell lies to keep people from finding out, you could ask your own questions in the interview to determine how the family is likely to feel about a gay nanny, or you could bring it up a little later in the game.

I will say that if I had a nanny candidate who wouldn't talk about her private life at all, I would find that strange. It would be off-putting, and we probably wouldn't match. I don't need to know every little detail about your life, but our nannies have all talked about husbands/kids/parents/pets/etc. as a natural part of conversation.[/quote]

Why do expect your nanny to share her personal and/or sex life with you?  Is this something you routinely share with your office.?  I find this strange.

OP has every right to keep her personal life personal.[/quote]

Yes, I would say that most of my co-workers know what my husband does for work.  Many of them have also met him.  We also know our nanny's husband well.  He often spends time with our kids if he's off work on a day our nanny is working.  I would find it weird that someone who has such an entrenched position in our lives (there's not a lot more personal than taking care of someone's children!) would not share any personal details of their life to us.  Now, I don't know anything about my maid's personal life, but we also don't really talk since she cleans the house when no one is there.  A nanny is a whole different ball of wax.  And to be clear, I would hire a gay nanny, but I would also expect that at some point we might do things with my nanny's family (i.e. we attended our nanny's birthday party with our children and her husband, parents, and sister were there, along with all her friends), so I would be turned off by someone who was completely private about their life - not because they are gay, but because I'd think we'd have a closer relationship with someone who is in our house taking care of our kids 50 hours a week.[/quote]

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