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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "question for current au pairs and former au pairs"
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[quote=Anonymous]Please link to the law where it says that curfews for APs are illegal. It has something to do with common courtesy (which should be a part of general maturity) when living together. People, including your HPs, worry about you when you are not home at night. One of my coworkers rents her spare bedroom through Airbnb, to adults she barely knows, even she doesn't sleep well when she knows her guests aren't back yet. It also has to do with other people, people you are living with and should care about, waking up when you come home, possibly including the young children you care for. People wake up when a car drives up the driveway, the garage door opens, a door gets unlocked or water runs. It doesn't matter that you tiptoe through the house, unless your HF lives in a mansion and you live in the west wing or you have a garden appartment, they will hear you. Add to that the responsibility your HP have for you and your well being. Who do you think your parents would blame if you got hurt in the middle of the night? Who would have to call your parents and tell them you got run over by a drunk driver at 2 am in the morning and are in hospital? You are living with them, they are your host "parents". They don't want to have to tell your parents that you are dead or critically injured. They also don't want to blame themselves that they allowed you to make stupid choices. Most HPs care about their APs and their well being. Add the "good rolemodel" part (and really? I have never met a parent who was happy that their child was out and about in the middle of the night and who would want their child to learn that this is acceptable behaviour, especially if paired with drinking or disrupting sleep of other family members). Accepting and respecting that different families have different rules and that by chosing to live with a family you chose to respect their rules is something every adult who choses to move abroad to live and work in a hostfamily should be aware of. This is not an exchange student situation where an agency places the student into any family they think is suitable. The AP has the possibility to ask all the questions and to decide if that situation is acceptable for them or not. If you don't have the cultural awareness that is needed to know that the US won't be the same as your home country (if it was, why would you go there anyway?) maybe an international exchange program is not the best choice. I will never understand APs moaning about how horrible the program is. Don't join the program. Leave the program if you are unhappy with it. If living with and working for a hostfamily proves not to be your slice of cake, get a w&t visa for OZ and pick kiwis. Or join the Disney program and sell pretzels over the summer. The AP program isn't for everybody (families and au pairs alike), living under one roof with your employer is not for everybody. With cultural differences, different personalities, expectations and backgrounds there are so many things that can go wrong but it's not as if there is no way out. I will also never understand why APs decide to join the program if they don't have enough savings for a return flight home or save enough of their stipend to pay a return flight home should it ever be needed (you can fly one way from DC to Rio de Janeiro for under $800, to Shanghai for under $500, to Paris for under $400, to Warsaw for under $700 - this is prices four weeks out - set aside half of your stipend for your first month or two and you have enough money maybe not for the best or most convenient flight but to get you home to most places in the world, OZ excluded possibly... if you don't need it, you have savings to pay your taxes or pay for your travel month)[/quote]
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