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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Then DH needs to solve this problem, OP. What is his cheaper solution? To just not give your nanny a raise?

I do think you've created an expensive situation with your set of nonnegotiables: a particular, full day preschool, in order to have sibling preference for a particular private elementary school + a nanny who works over 50 hours a week and is already compensated well.

On a certain level, I agree with your DH -- we all can't have everything. On the other hand, the last person who needs to fix your financial issue is your nanny, and you have the money, you'd just rather not spend it.

As far as "selling" it to your DH, I think you need to show him when and how this ends, and what the total additional cost of a raise will be over that time (the marginal cost of a good raise). Once DC #3 is in school, what are your before/after care/vacation plans? Can you promise the nanny expense has an end date? Because I'm guessing he's now multiplying by 3 what he was originally multiplying by 2, and also thinking, "what if there's a #4 in three years?"[/quote]

You're hitting the nail on the head. I don't really think either of us is unreasonable. He would have been perfectly content to stop at two kids, because he knows how expensive they are. I was the one who wanted a third, and he then agreed. He's now multiplying the total cost of our nanny by the total number of years we will have her for, and then losing his mind because it's hundreds of thousands of dollars when you do it that way. I'm thinking of it more as the marginal additional cost, plus I'm sooo happy about our third baby that I don't really care. And, fundamentally we disagree on our financial situation. I think we're more than fine, and he thinks we don't have enough. Because I'm generally frugal, this doesn't often come to a head. It is coming to a head now.

As for post nanny childcare, I plan to move to an au pair or an after school babysitter once DC3 is in FT preschool. We're done after three kids. I'd love a fourth but not at the age I would be when he/she was born (plus DH would have a cow). [/quote]

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