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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Son tells me Au Pair in Mean "
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you absolutely made the right call. A PP said it best..you don't turn off empathy when you clock out. Your kids likely picked up on her lack of actual concern for them, and in their limited emotional vocabulary, explained it as "meanness." To the side shows above who posted about "hating" their host kids -- I think the negative visceral reaction people (including me, although this is my first post about it) are having is that the use of the word "hate" directed a child (and in these cases, children 8 and under, I believe) is negatively surprising coming from people who have held a caregiver role. Also the fact that Side Show #1 replied to a horrifying story of clear abuse of a 7 year old, with zero words of empathy and only a "sometimes the kids deserve the hate" kind of message -- really offputting and says a lot about the poster who wrote those words. Who can read that story about the 7 year old cowering in the corner having peed her pants from fear and not feel sadness? But instead feel only motivation to post a story that essentially tries to justify the position of the abuser AP who made the child cower in the corner? I can only shake my head and hope that I don't ever come across a caregiver like this poster. I think also generally, use of the word "hate" when discussing children (aimed at the child and not the behavior) is immature and a sign of a lack of emotional and actual intelligence. I don't use that word even about adults that I can't stand (other than maybe terrorists or murderers or something extreme like that). The word should generally be reserved, if used at all, for inanimate objects (like brussel sprouts or long division)... and to hear it used so freely about a child under the age of 10 is jarring to most reasonable people. Sure, some kids have terrible behavior (likely the result of bad parenting choices, or perhaps medical issues, or sometimes just because) and it's ok to dislike it, or even "hate" the behavior. But hate directed at a child/person - to me is a just mirror into the shortcomings of the person who says they "hate" the child. [/quote]
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