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[quote=Anonymous]Host mom here, ignoring the trolls who are irrelevant to the conversation.

My last au pair wanted to save up some money, so I put her in touch with one of my friends who needed hours that I knew wouldn't conflict with my hours.  I quickly regretted it.  My au pair got burned out, working the extra hours.  Her needs for cash were seemingly unlimited.  When she left here, she donated many black garbage bags full of expensive clothes that she bought while here and didn't want to bring home, so that's where the extra money went. And meanwhile my kids paid the price because she was grumpy when she was with them.

The thing is, as host parents, a lot of what we pay goes to agency fees, room and board, and extras like a car and cell phone.  Babysitting clients just pay cash, so although they're ultimately probably spending less, the au pair seeing more of it and is more inclined to take those hours than to want to work for her host family, who pays her the same amount no matter how many hours she works (under the 45 hour limit, of course.)  Resentment quickly builds on both sides.

Unfortunately on my side, when I realized this was happening and tried to backtrack, it resulted in a big fight. Yes, she stopped babysitting, but the relationship never recovered.  (There were other issues too.)

Bottom line, if you can add some restrictions now without causing too much angst, you should.  If it's too late, well, you'll know for next time.[/quote]

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